tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-107829532024-03-14T02:14:58.472-06:00Montana Jones<strong>Montana</strong> n: A state of the northwest United States bordering on Canada. Admitted as the 41st state in 1889. The fourth largest state in the union, it includes vast prairies and numerous majestic mountain ranges.<br />
Syn: Treasure State, Big Sky Country, Last Best Place.<br />
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<strong>Jones</strong> n: slang. An addiction or very deep craving.Montana Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17104450365014909054noreply@blogger.comBlogger456125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10782953.post-35116402209032079682014-05-10T00:00:00.001-06:002014-05-10T00:02:55.669-06:00Remember the Ludlow Massacre!Note.<br />
I originally wrote this piece on 19 November 2011.<br />
I am publishing now in memory of the 100th anniversary of the Ludlow Massacre.<br />
<br />
<br />
In my youth I learned that when my older brother was behaving like an obnoxious twat and I confronted him on it, he would become an even more obnoxious twat. The alternative was to ignore him. He would, of course, ramp up his obnoxiousness to try to get a rise out of me. But if I continued to ignore him he would eventually abandon the theatrics and give up; resulting in peace and quiet.<br />
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Over the years I have seen people try to draw attention to themselves and their cause in one form or another. Boycott Procter and Gamble! Boycott Disney! Boycott that group that did the bad thing and has poor social policies! The reason that I am not even bothering to Google these news events from the past and provide links is because the protesters were being twats. Easy to ignore and the results of their actions were non events. It takes a real 'super twat' to endure the ignoring, continue to ramp up the obnoxiousness, and continue to try drawing attention. (I am looking at you Fred Phelps.)<br />
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So now we have Occupy Wall Street. (OWS). And of course like so many protesting and loud mouthed twats that have come before, all the powers that be had to do was ignore them and it would have gone away. I believe it was not successfully ignored because: A) the powers that be are stupid. Or B) the protests and complaints have merit.<br />
<br />
I am pretty confident that supposition A is mostly false. But in either case, can you think of a single reason why the powers that be should remain in power? (My definition of “powers that be” includes, but is not limited to, the executive, congressional, judiciary, the wealthy, and the media.) <br />
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History has lessons here. For starters I would like to draw attention to the Ludlow Massacre: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ludlow_massacre">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ludlow_massacre</a><br />
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One significant difference between 1914 and 2011 is that so far in 2011 not one single protester has been killed. This actually speaks very well for our current in power crop of idiots. Not killing people is huge. For comparison sake take a look at some other protests going on in 2011, right now as I am writing this: <br />
<a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-15807441">http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-15807441</a><br />
<br />
I really cannot express enough how big a deal it is that not one single police officer, soldier, or instrument of those in power, has killed an OWS protester. This speaks very highly of our democracy, our government, the protection of our rights and our freedoms, and the way things are done in a civilized society.<br />
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History has lessons here. I would like to draw attention to the Kent State Massacre:<br />
<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kent_State_shootings">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kent_State_shootings</a><br />
<br />
Instead of being 97 years ago, this was only 41 years ago. Living memory for many of us. One significant difference between 1970 and 2011 is that so far in 2011 not one single protester has been killed. It appears that if you have a grievance against those in power your odds of survival are better the older your democratic state is. Between 1914 and 1970, the number of protesters murdered has been reduced by 84%<br />
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It is not my intention to belittle the experiences of the U.C. Davis protesters that spent hours vomiting up pepper spray. But the fact that those protesters are not dead is a good thing. And this is a result of our democracy growing smarter and more mature. Our culture changing its values. This is the evolution of civilization happening before our eyes.<br />
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I also need to point out that this is still not noble behavior. I am not trying to say that the cops are being good guys because they did not murder anyone. That they have replaced murder with torture is not exactly laudable. And the debate about torture (cough, water boarding) is not over yet. But it is undeniable that from a human rights standpoint moving from murder to torture is progress. While this progress may be good, we are still a long way from a comfortable destination. <br />
<br />
And this progress does not absolve our current government from the need to continue improving our civil rights record. Listening to republican candidates expound on the virtues of water boarding (cough, torture) sickens me. It reminds me far too much of civil war era politicians expounding the economic virtues of slavery. Which is not too distant an analogy from the message of the occupy protesters. The 99% and wage slaves trying to find a way out from the shackles of the wealthy. <br />
<br />
It is our leadership that brought on this economic crisis, it is our government that bailed out the banks with no repercussions for their economic injury to our nation. The fact that no protesters have been killed does not give anyone a good behavior pass. The current in power crop of idiots are the ones that screwed things up, and they have got to go. We now need leaders that will continue the work of improving our society, listen more and act on the will of the people, and denounce torture rather than resting on the laurels of non murder. <br />
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Now the OWS protesters have an iconic image of themselves being sprayed like weeds before the pesticide of authority. Inhuman, deplorable, irrefutable, and disgusting. Yes, heads should roll over this incident. (I am looking at you Linda Katehi.) The day that a servant of the public turns a weapon on the public is a traumatic day for our democracy, our nation, and our ideals. Too much of this behavior is the sort of stuff that incites revolution and topples governments.<br />
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If our nation can withstand it, this pesticide is also fertilizer. We now stand at a place where torture has replaced murder. We grew to this place out of a 224 year old constitution. A set of ideals that said for the first time in human history that people and citizens are important. That our own happiness is important. That individual life matters. That the governed ought to have a say in government. <br />
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In the greater scope of human history this is a really amazing point of view. That we, the proletariat, the governed, the people, have been able to get the powers that be to change from murder to torture is impressive. I can only imagine what the standards of civilized behavior will be like in another 100 years, or even another generation. Perhaps torture will be replaced by shame. Loosing a debate may become a social evil. I have no doubt that the debate will be rigged and the audience will be subjected to all the power of social conditioning and psychological warfare available. But I smile a joyous smile as I imagine a day when our grandchildren look upon the world and notice that shame is better than torture which is better than murder.<br />
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The bottom line is that in spite of all the problems facing modern democratic societies. Problems with taxation. Problems with unemployment. Problems with health care. Problems with copyright law. Problems with austerity. Problems from economic meltdowns. Problems with socialism. Problems with capitalism. Problems with people just plain being mean to other people as a path to riches. I would rather live in the United States of America in the early 21st century than at any other time in known history. (Although I am certain that we could improve upon our current in power batch of idiots.) My odds for happiness, and not being murdered, are just plain better right now than they have ever been before in all of human history. I would like the next generation, and the one after that, to be able to say the same.<br />
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The OWS protests (and the police officers watching them, (and the powers that be controlling them)) are a benchmark. The pepper sprayed U.C. Davis students, and Kent State before them, and Ludlow before that, are symbolic. And they are all part of the social mechanism that is making the world a better place. Milestones on the path to a better world. I salute you, mourn you, observe you, applaud you, and upload in your honor.<br />
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Montana Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17104450365014909054noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10782953.post-52981329489287818402010-01-17T20:28:00.001-07:002010-01-17T20:31:37.253-07:00Best photos of 2009<p>In 2009 I acquired a new camera, I hacked an old camera so that it will take infrared photos, and I took approximately 1,300 pictures. Not a bad year for photography.</p>
<p>I could not pick out my best photo of the year, but I was able to narrow the field down to my three favorites. Here they are:</p>
<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_3GOJok_EIw4/S1PVrPXiXQI/AAAAAAAAAIw/r8McPMSh4Qc/s1600-h/2009bestC.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_3GOJok_EIw4/S1PVrPXiXQI/AAAAAAAAAIw/r8McPMSh4Qc/s320/2009bestC.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5427916914747923714" border="0" /></a>
<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_3GOJok_EIw4/S1PVrFkMg0I/AAAAAAAAAIo/lRPEygrdkOs/s1600-h/2009bestB.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_3GOJok_EIw4/S1PVrFkMg0I/AAAAAAAAAIo/lRPEygrdkOs/s320/2009bestB.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5427916912116663106" border="0" /></a>
<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_3GOJok_EIw4/S1PVqkTiCLI/AAAAAAAAAIg/KzIBvN80rUo/s1600-h/2009bestA.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_3GOJok_EIw4/S1PVqkTiCLI/AAAAAAAAAIg/KzIBvN80rUo/s320/2009bestA.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5427916903188400306" border="0" /></a>Montana Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17104450365014909054noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10782953.post-72952209563763049282009-12-08T19:32:00.001-07:002009-12-08T19:35:08.665-07:00Broccoli Beer Cheese Soup<p>Start with a big soup pot.</p>
<p>1/4 cup butter.<br />
1/4 cup flour.<br />
A little bit of diced onion.</p>
<p>Melt the butter, stir in the onion, mix in the flour.</p>
<p>Add 1 can of beer.</p>
<p>Add a bunch of chicken stock. 3 cups oughtta do it.</p>
<p>A good dose of white pepper and black pepper and a little bit of cayenne pepper. A dash of garlic powder and a smidgen of celery seed.</p>
<p>Boil.</p>
<p>Simmer for 10 minutes.</p>
<p>1 pound of sharp cheddar cheese, shredded.<br />
A dozen or so slices of American cheese. (Next time I am going for a pound and a half of the sharp cheddar.)</p>
<p>Slowly stir the cheese into the concoction until melted.</p>
<p>3 head of broccoli - chopped into bite sized florets.<br />
2 white potatoes - diced into bite sized pieces.</p>
<p>Steam these before hand. (I hope you read ahead instead of following along.)</p>
<p>Stir 'em in.</p>
<p>Simmer for a few minutes until everything is good and hot.</p>
<p>Yummy!</p>
<p>Next time I am going to add some bacon bits.</p>Montana Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17104450365014909054noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10782953.post-58055444898804854502009-06-23T21:43:00.002-06:002009-06-23T21:46:36.863-06:00I-9<dl class="conversation">
<dt>She:</dt> <dd>Would you like me to mail a copy of my social security card?</dd>
<dt>Me:</dt> <dd>No thanks, just list the number. You are really paranoid about this paperwork.</dd>
<dt>She:</dt> <dd>Well you mentioned big fines.</dd>
<dt>Me:</dt> <dd>I didn't intend to make it sound that serious. It works like this; we have to keep this I-9 paperwork on file for all employees in case some big government person asks for it. If, in the rare one in a bazillion chance that a government fool were to come snooping, we would have to prove that all our employees are eligible to work in the U.S. I have never heard of anyone ever being asked for this paper, but employers are threatened with fines and such to keep us in line. There would only be trouble if we were hiring illegal aliens. Personally, I am pretty confident that you are eligible to work in the United States.</dd>
<dt>She:</dt> <dd>Only for about 40 years.</dd>
<dt>Me:</dt> <dd>Right. So if the government hassles me about providing a job to a law abiding white American woman with a valid social security number, I will be sure to get in touch and get a copy of that document right away.</dd>
</dl>Montana Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17104450365014909054noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10782953.post-56269938717848845612009-05-26T09:07:00.001-06:002009-05-26T09:09:35.799-06:00Overheard<blockquote>"The problem with people that think they know it all is they really annoy to those of us who do."</blockquote>Montana Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17104450365014909054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10782953.post-79737543841914775552009-05-06T12:21:00.001-06:002009-05-06T12:23:05.105-06:00Good Government<p>Sometimes your state government does something right. This post is a kudo to those that helped pass House Bill 531.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.bozemandailychronicle.com/articles/2009/05/06/news/10cameras.txt">http://www.bozemandailychronicle.com/articles/2009/05/06/news/10cameras.txt</a></p>
<blockquote>Gov. Brian Schweitzer Tuesday signed into a law a bill that bans the use of red-light cameras in Montana</blockquote>Montana Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17104450365014909054noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10782953.post-81030767402790458312009-04-27T21:26:00.003-06:002009-04-27T21:29:58.826-06:00Wilderness<p>What is up with the call for wilderness these days?</p>
<p><a href="http://www.newwest.net/topic/article/business_people_call_for_more_wilderness_in_northwest_montana/C41/L41/">Business People Call for More Wilderness in Northwest Montana</a></p>
<p>I am having a lot of trouble with what Wilderness entails. I understand that a wilderness designation places special rules on what can and can't be done in a piece of land. But what exactly? And I am at least a little suspicious of the business people in the above article. Could they really be trying to preserve their McMansions by having the government lock down "their backyard"?</p>
<p>I have read the <a href="http://www.wilderness.net/index.cfm?fuse=nwps&sec=legisact">wilderness act</a> itself, and find little guidance there about how wilderness has been practically managed. Here is my summary of the restrictions listed therein.</p>
<p>Except for measures necessary to meet minimum requirements for administration of the area, including emergencies, health and safety.
<ul>
<li>No commercial enterprise</li>
<li>No permanent road</li>
<li>No temporary road</li>
<li>No motor vehicles</li>
<li>No motorized equipment</li>
<li>No motorboats</li>
<li>No landing of aircraft</li>
<li>No mechanical transport</li>
<li>No structure or installation</li>
</ul>
</p>
<p>There are some exceptions listed in the act pertaining to aircraft and motorboat use established prior to 1964. There is also a big section pertaining to mining and mineral rights in effect up through 1983.</p>
<p>Don't get me wrong. I am a big fan of the wild outdoors. I know that places like the Bob Marshal Wilderness have benefited from the wilderness designation. I know that our state has benefited from the wilderness areas we enjoy. But as a visitor to wild areas I also know a little human intervention solves problems.</p>
<ul>
<li>Establishing campsites and trails outside of wildlife migration routes reduces human/animal conflict.</li>
<li>Maintaining trails with modern chainsaws and equipment is less expensive and results in better-maintained and safer trails.</li>
<li>Shelter cabins can save lives.</li>
<li>Signs, trail markers and cairns aid in navigation and help localize and reduce human impact.</li>
</ul>
<p>In other words, Wilderness areas and wilderness recreation do not mix very well. Perhaps they were not meant to. I think it is important that tracts of land are preserved from recreational interests as well as from commercial interests; a wilderness designation does that. But we should be careful about which pieces of land get padlocked up from all human interactions. Preserving wild lands for recreation and human use is also important. I think case by case evaluations would be a better choice than a blanket "Wilderness Good" proclamation.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.flatheadbeacon.com/articles/article/glacier_superintendent_pushes_for_wilderness_designation/9587/">And what about Glacier National Park?</a></p>
<p>The park Superintendent wants Glacier to be a wilderness area. I am suspicious of this too. Park management is already required to manage areas eligible for wilderness status as though it is wilderness. The superintendent says that the wilderness designation will just make these management policies permanent.</p>
<p>But casting wilderness into law will also overlay another set of potentially conflicting laws and rules on the existing management. What happens when the Park Service Organic Act conflicts with the requirements of a wilderness area? What happens when the rules for preserving historic structures conflict with the rules for managing wilderness areas?</p>
<p>The Wilderness Act is also hostile to wilderness recreation, as we have seen above. The National Park Service mission includes both preservation and providing for enjoyment. Making a National Park a wilderness does a service to one part of that mission, but a disservice to the other.</p>
<p>The <a href="http://www.wilderness.net/NWPS/documents/NPS/2006%20Wilderness%20Management%20Policies.pdf">National Park Service Wilderness Management Policies</a> do call for assessments and studies before the change can be made. Unfortunately, the same policies make no mention of public comment or input.</p>
<p>The policies also call for public education programs and states:</p>
<blockquote>Education is among the most effective tools for dealing with wilderness use and management problems and should generally be applied before more restrictive management tools.</blockquote>
<p>I think the best thing that can happen right now is education, debate and discussion. There are far too many questions unanswered at this time for me to think that slapping "wilderness" all over the map is a good idea. So for any of you congress people or lawmakers out there, please keep right on doing what you have been doing. Nothing! Make no votes for new wilderness until the debate has reached the public and we better understand what we are doing to the future of our lands.</p>Montana Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17104450365014909054noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10782953.post-6744269981696656882009-04-15T11:30:00.000-06:002009-04-15T11:32:58.581-06:00Tea Party<p>I have a horrible urge to go to a local tea party with a giant banner that reads:</p>
<blockquote>"But apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?"</blockquote>
<p>Someone stop me before I go get my ass kicked.</p>
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ExWfh6sGyso&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ExWfh6sGyso&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Montana Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17104450365014909054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10782953.post-19874557485534667802009-04-06T22:23:00.004-06:002009-04-06T22:37:29.587-06:00Best Picture<p>It is my pleasure to report that I have completed a great quest. I have watched every single movie that has won the Oscar for Best Picture. Well, that is not quite 100% true. I have not been able to locate the first winner, <i>Wings</i> (1927-1928); and <i>Cavalcade</i> (1932-1933) is mysteriously absent from <a href="http://www.netflix.com">Netflix</a>. So except for those two films, I have seen every Best Picture from <i>The Broadway Melody</i> in 1929 to <i>Slumdog Millionaire</i> the winning film from 2008. Good enough, the quest is over.</p>
<p>I have been on this quest for about 15 years. It was around 1993 or so that a girlfriend of the time passed the meme on to me. The girlfriend turned out to be a flake, but the idea of watching all these movies has stuck with me. Before the internet it was slow going, I went through a bunch of video store memberships scouring out the old movies sections and wondering where in the hell was I going to find all of these films. The age of Netflix has made this particular quest much easier, and I would have completed it sooner if it were not also a cornucopia of time-consuming entertainment.</p>
<p>I have learned quite a bit about movies, American history, and perhaps even myself in the process. The biggest and greatest thing I have learned is:</p>
<p><b>The Academy Sucks</b></p>
<p>The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences started the awards to recognize excellence of professionals in the film industry. I'm sure that there was a little self-promotional interest in creating the awards as well. Awards are voted on by Academy members, mostly film professionals, with actors currently the largest voting bloc. And frankly, their taste in movies sucks.</p>
<p>I can't really speak to some of the older awards, because I have never seen the other nominees. But of contemporary films, especially those released in my lifetime, I have a broader selection to compare with and I would not have chosen most of the winners.</p>
<p>For example, in 1979 <i>Kramer vs. Kramer</i> beat <i>Apocalypse Now</i>. <i>Raiders of the Lost Ark</i> lost to <i>Chariots of Fire</i> in 1981. And from 1983, which film would you have given the award to, <i>The Big Chill</i>, <i>The Right Stuff</i>, or <i>Terms of Endearment</i>? Other big losers include <i>The Shawshank Redemption</i>, <i>Goodfellas</i>, <i>E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial</i>, <i>Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid</i>, and <i>Star Wars</i>.</p>
<p>To be fair, some of the losers that are highly regarded had some pretty tough competition. The beautiful <i>Doctor Zhivago</i> lost to <i>The Sound of Music</i> in 1965. That one could have gone either way and I would have been pleased with the choice. In 2003 the films nominated for best picture included <i>Seabiscuit</i>, <i>Mystic River</i>, <i>Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World</i>, and <i>Lost in Translation</i>. You can pretty much throw a dart while blindfolded and hit a winner on that list. It was <i>The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King</i> that took the prize that year. And if you are interested in a year with some serious competition, look back to 1939. The nominees that year included <i>The Wizard of Oz</i>, <i>Stagecoach</i>, <i>Of Mice and Men</i>, <i>Mr. Smith Goes to Washington</i>, and <i>Goodbye, Mr. Chips</i>. The winner that year was <i>Gone with the Wind</i>. What a great year to be a connoisseur of cinema.</p>
<p>A few years with a tough decision to make does not let the Academy off the hook though. In 1941 both <i>Citizen Kane</i> and <i>The Maltese Falcon</i> were nominated and lost the award to <i>How Green Was My Valley</i>. In 1946, <i>It's a Wonderful Life</i> lost to <i>The Best Years of Our Lives</i>. <i>Dr. Strangelove</i> lost to <i>My Fair Lady</i> in 1964. The Academy has picked wrong far too many times for me to trust their judgement.</p>
<p><b>The worst of the best</b></p>
<p>Don't let that "Best Picture" title fool you, many of the award winners downright sucked. Here are some titles notable for being the worst of the Best Picture list.</p>
<p><i>Hamlet</i> (1948). Great source material does not always make a great movie. This film was a stinker. Every last line, even the funny bits, were delivered as slowly and dramatically as possible. Imagine, if you will, having William Shatner performing each part with the greatest dramatic intensity he can muster. "Rozencrantz! And! Guildenstern! Are! Dead!"</p>
<p><i>Tom Jones</i> (1963). A completely empty headed tribute to misogyny. A good for nothing philandering bum of a hero can do no wrong, while the many women he philanders with can do no right. This film is the poster child for how to hate the hero.</p>
<p><i>Driving Miss Daisy</i> (1989). So the good natured black chauffeur has lots in common with the stick up her ass Jewish white lady he drives around. You don't need to sit through the entire boring film to get this point. This film has no high points, interesting visuals, memorable scenes, or even much to think about.</p>
<p>And my absolute least favorite, worst of the best, most gawdawfull Best Picture ever: <i>Around the World in 80 Days</i> (1956). This film was nothing but a huge circle jerk of ego stroking for the hollywood hipsters of the day. Let us forgive all the racist moments in the film and all the blatant ethnic stereotyping. It was the 50's; they didn't know any better. This film was awful because it was boring as all fuck. This film was awful because the characters were cliché driven and had no actual development to them. This film was awful because it started with some wonderful source material and was re-written to be clever; and by clever I mean bad. And there was a reason that this awful film won. Apparently everybody who was anybody in Hollywood that year had a little cameo role in it. I recognized Frank Sinatra as the piano player in the San Francisco saloon, but that was about it for my recognizing the parade of who's who. A modern audience can certainly tell that lots of important people make an appearance in the movie, constantly throughout the entire film the camera will linger a little too long on some person in the background or someone with a bit part in the scene. That I can name only one of those people a half century later indicates to me that they were merly self-important. The films nominated that year included <i>The Ten Commandments</i>, <i>The King and I</i>, and <i>Giant</i>. This stupid movie won because half the Academy appeared in it.</p>
<p><b>The Best of the Best</b></p>
<p>The Best Picture list certainly had some pleasant surprises in it for me. I have to give high marks to some very old movies. <i>All Quiet on the Western Front</i>, the third film to win the award back in 1929-1930, was quite good. As was <i>Mutiny on the Bounty</i> from 1935. Humphry Bogart proves himself to be a stellar actor in <i>Casablanca</i>, 1943. And I will hold <i>On The Waterfront</i> from 1954 up against any modern film for its high quality and excellent storytelling.</p>
<p>The Best Picture quest has given me an appreciation for musicals that I was not expecting. Don't overlook <i>Gigi</i>(1958) for its entertainment value. It's hard not to like <i>The Sound of Music</i>(1965); and I am now a big fan of <i>West Side Story</i>(1961). Even <i>My Fair Lady</i>(1964) had me singing along. For fun flashbacks to how your grandparents (or great grandparents) liked to be entertained, look to <i>The Great Ziegfeld</i>(1936). <i>The Broadway Melody</i>(1928-1929) can also bring a smile, but back then they apparently thought it was okay to have only one song for an entire musical.</p>
<p>High quality war movies appear throughout the best picture list. <i>Platoon</i>(1986), <i>The Deer Hunter</i>(1978), <i>Patton</i>(1970), <i>Lawrence of Arabia</i>(1962), <i>The Bridge on the River Kwai</i>(1957), <i>All Quiet on the Western Front</i>(1929-1930). All good stuff.</p>
<p>Comedy is a little lacking. <i>You Can't Take It With You</i>(1938) is better when performed on stage. There was <i>Annie Hall</i>(1977), but you have to appreciate Woody Allen to enjoy it and not everyone appreciates Woody Allen. <i>Shakespeare in Love</i>(1998) counts as a romantic comedy, but I think <i>It Happened One Night</i>(1934) is the better romantic comedy. <i>The Apartment</i>(1960) is my favorite comedy, but its serious side weighs down the laughs it starts with and makes it hard to identify as comedy.</p>
<p>The political films from the list impressed me. <i>The Life of Emile Zola</i>(1937), <i>All the Kings Men</i>(1949), <i>A Man for All Seasons</i>(1966). If you don't like the way things are going, politically speaking, immerse yourself in these films for a different point of view.</p>
<p>There are only three westerns on the list. <i>Unforgiven</i>(1992) is quite possibly the best western genre film of all time. <i>No Country for Old Men</i>(2007) just barely qualifies as western. <i>Cimarron</i>(1930-1931) is only interesting for the historical perspective.</p>
<p>Other films worth going out of your way for: <i>Grand Hotel</i>(1931-1932), <i>All About Eve</i>(1950), <i>Midnight Cowboy</i>(1969), <i>The Godfather</i>(1972), and <i>One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest</i>(1975).</p>
<p><b>Cinema and history</b></p>
<p>Browsing through 80 years worth of films gives an enlightening view of history. The evolution of the cinematic art form is fascinating and the changing culture we live in is illustrated better than any anthropologist could hope for.</p>
<p>Films of the 30's and 40's relied quite heavily on dialog and conversation to move the plot forward. Alfred Hitchcock's only best picture winner, <i>Rebecca</i> (1940) is a perfect example. The plot has all the twists and mind games one would expect from a Hitchcock film, but they are almost entirely presented through dialog. As a modern filmgoer who is used to a more visual story telling style, I found it somewhere between a challenge to follow and a bore.</p>
<p>As for the film making arts, following the chronology of films through the decades is like watching a flower bloom. Each new generation of filmakers can be seen borrowing heavily from their predecessors' best moments and adding their own new ideas. Sets and locations grow more complex and far flung. Soundscapes grow richer. Camera angles and motions become more interesting. Editing and pacing become more exciting. <i>Gone With the Wind</i> from 1939 was an epic film, the first all color film to win Best Picture. With spectacular images, huge cast, and a sweeping story line it set a high standard for what an epic film ought to be. Compare that to a modern epic like <i>Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King</i> from 2003 and the old epic feels pale and slow.</p>
<p>Film arts are not the only historical insight the Best Picture list offers. I found myself reveling in the peek at past cultures. There was an obvious emphasis on family life in early films. <i>Cimmarron</i>(1930-1931), <i>You Can't Take it With You</i>(1938), <i>How Green Was My Valley</i>(1941), <i>Mrs. Miniver</i>(1942), <i>The Best Years of our Lives</i>(1946), and <i>Gentleman's Agreement</i>(1947) all featured entire families as the protagonist. In the modern era families have not been important since <i>Terms of Endearment</i> in 1983. The best a modern film can offer are the faux families in <i>Million Dollar Baby</i>(2004) or <i>Driving Miss Daisy</i>(1989); or the broken and struggling families from <i>American Beauty</i>(1999) and <i>Slumdog Millionaire</i>(2008). The individual has grown to be more important than the family over the past century.</p>
<p>The taboos of culture could play a part in that shift. <i>The Best Years of our Lives</i>(1946) told the tale of three servicemen returning home from World War II. One serviceman finds his wife having an affair with another man. The film tap dances carefully around the adultery like it is reluctant to admit what is going on, even though it is an important point in the plot. The couple is always referred to as having "an unhappy marriage." Even in the scene where the cuckolded husband comes home to find wife and lover together in his apartment, there is not a hint of sex anywhere in the dialog or in the visuals. Everyone is fully dressed and no one will directly speak about what is obviously going on. Compare and contrast this with the adultery and blatant sexual content in <i>American Beauty</i>(1999). I am disappointed in the older film for its inability to be up front and forthcoming, but comparing it to the newer film suggests that our culture may have lost something important when we shed our taboos.</p>
<p>The rituals of romance have also evolved over the years. In <i>Marty</i>(1955) Ernest Borgnine goes from dedicated bachelor living with mom to marriage ready husband material over the course of one date. This film emphasizes how very important it is to be coupled up with someone and that there is something not quite right about single men. Less than ten years later we have <i>Tom Jones</i>(1963) gallivanting around England and sleeping with anything that has two legs and a vagina. This film celebrates how truly awesome it is to be an upperclassman amongst poor wenches and a single guy in a world where women are the lesser citizens. And the consequences of all this philandering? None that I could see.</p>
<p>And how about those romantic kids in <i>Titanic</i>(1997)? The classic story of love spanning the gap between cultures and classes. Heartwarming isn't it? For another take on the rich girl, common guy theme, look back to <i>It Happened One Night</i>(1934). Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert do a much better job than their contemporary counterparts in teaching each other, and the audience, about the finer points of their respective backgrounds.</p>
<p>The best picture list clearly defines World War II as the greatest source of cultural change our society has seen during the history of cinema. There are eight Best Pictures that take place in and around the events of WWII. From <i>Mrs. Miniver</i>(1942) with its prophetic optimism about the uncertain outcome of an ongoing war. Up to <i>Schindler's List</i>(1993) revisiting the human crises. The war gave filmmakers a huge stable of stories to tell with fascinating and heroic characters and exotic and worldly backdrops. <i>Patton</i>(1970) and <i>The Bridge on the River Kwai</i>(1957) showed us the best and worse of our military leaders. <i>Casablanca</i>(1943) and <i>The Best Years of our Lives</i>(1946) show us the struggles of ordinary people swept up by world events and coping with the aftermath.</p>
<p>Prior to the war, films that emphasized entertainment and leisure such as <i>The Great Ziegfeld</i>(1936) or <i>You Can't Take it With You</i>(1938) outnumbered films with a social message such as <i>All Quiet on the Western Front</i>(1929-1930) or <i>The Life of Emile Zola</i>(1937). After the war it is as though filmmakers found a new voice to speak with. It is as though frivolous entertainment was suddenly unimportant. Movies like <i>The Lost Weekend</i>(1945) and <i>Gentleman's Agreement</i>(1947) began pointing a spotlight on uncomfortable social truths. Even films about entertainment such as <i>All About Eve</i>(1950) and <i>The Greatest Show on Earth</i>(1952) featured characters with greater depth and more complex challenges than the big screen had seen before.</p>
<p><b>The growth of a filmgoer</b></p>
<p>A lot can happen to a person in 15 years. Since I made the goal of watching all these films I have lived at six different addresses, held four different jobs and gained over 30 pounds. It is hard to point to a list of 80 movies and say it changed my life. Even so, I think these movies have affected who I am. Without this quest I would never have bothered to see most of the movies older than I am. That would have left me horribly deprived of musicals. Singing and dancing spectacles are in fact great fun.</p>
<p>But it goes deeper than that. I am more open minded about my entertainment in general. In forcing myself to watch some films that I would have otherwise passed over I can recognize the merits of having an open mind and trying new things. I have been able to internalize the philosophy of "don't knock it until you have tried it." From clothing styles to racquetball, the best picture list has helped me encounter the new.</p>
<p>I would also like to claim a better critical eye. With a wide swath of movies to compare and contrast with it is now possible for me to better recognize quality as opposed to shiny gimmicks. The movies have helped me recognize this in other mediums as well.</p>
<p>The list has given me an illustrated guide to the history of my culture from the past 80 years. Filmmakers have accidentally captured dozens of topics from education to fashion to personal relationships when they thought they were filming something else. Watching phenomena like racism go from blatant to scorned. Watching technology like telephones change our society; from the businessmen in <i>Grand Hotel</i>(1931-1932) using them sparsely, to the gangsters of <i>The Departed</i>(2006) making them a part of their personalities. Life styles, cities and ideas have all risen and fallen on the big screen. This map of the past creates a fabulous glimpse into the possibilities of the future and reminds us that in all things, change is the only constant.</p>
<p>And so it is with me. For having perused the past, I am more ready for the future. For having studied the best I can now recognize the worst. Because films are ultimately about people they give us insight into how people act at their best and their worst and even at how it feels to cross the thin line between the two. The best picture quest has left me wiser and more mature for having completed it. I can only hope my next great quest, whatever that may be, will have such a profound impact on me.</p>Montana Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17104450365014909054noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10782953.post-73156734102231986662009-03-10T09:47:00.001-06:002009-03-10T09:49:13.135-06:00Montana Vocabulary<h2>Winter</h2>
<p>1 Noun: The layer of body fat that accumulates in the winter months. Syn: winter padding.</p>
<dl>
<dt>Usage:</dt>
<dd><blockquote>"My pants and my winter don't get along."<br />
"I didn't winter too bad this year."<br />
"Falling didn't hurt, I landed on my winter."</blockquote></dd>
</dl>
<p>2 Verb: To pass through or live through winter. To keep or manage during winter.</p>
<dl>
<dt>Usage:</dt>
<dd><blockquote>"Hey Pete, how did you winter?"<br />
"My mortgage wintered better than I did."</blockquote></dd>
</dl>Montana Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17104450365014909054noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10782953.post-36639627781313065972009-02-23T17:16:00.002-07:002009-02-23T17:26:47.358-07:001969 was a very good year<ul>
<li>In 1969, man first walked on the moon.</li>
<li>In 1969 the first packet switched router connected two computers on different ends of the country.</li>
<li>In 1969 Monty Python's Flying Circus first aired in the UK.</li>
<li>In 1969 the Boeing 747 jumbo jet took its first flight.</li>
<li>In 1969 the first Automatic Teller Machine was installed.</li>
<li>In 1969 the first album in the heavy metal genre was released (Led Zepplin I).</li>
</ul>
<p>Oh yeah, and in 1969 some guy named Jones was born. This blog is no longer the adventures of a thirty-something guy. It is now the adventures of a forty-something guy.</p>Montana Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17104450365014909054noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10782953.post-87228834725252412552009-02-16T09:30:00.001-07:002009-02-16T09:31:40.607-07:00Presidents Day<p>Dear President Obama,</p>
<p>Happy Presidents Day!</p>
<p>All that hard work has finally paid off for you, congratulations, your very first Presidents Day holiday all for yourself. I can't wait to see what sort of things you intend to do with your day. Barbecues? Fireworks? Parades? Painted eggs?</p>
<p>This is a big opportunity for you to make all sorts of new traditions. If I may be so bold, I would like to lobby for some new Presidents Day traditions you could get the ball rolling on.</p>
<p>Better presidents day cards would be cool. I am getting tired of getting these cards in the store and having to draw the Lincoln stovepipe hat on the naked dude shooting the arrows. How about some Presidents Day cards that are not so much work? Now I understand that Presidents day cards may be a little self serving, since you are pretty much the only person that will be getting them. I bet you are dodging this issue just to look a little more egalitarian.</p>
<p>So if cards are out, I think the thing that would be the most awesomest for Presidents Day would be chocolate presidents. Everyone would love 'em. Who wouldn't want to bite a chocolate president? Except, well, I wouldn't want anyone to think this was a black thing. Er, sorry, I mean an African American thing. You gotta be egalitarian, right? Must be sort of a burden to be the nations first chocolate president. But that is sort of funny though, isn't it? I bet all those republicans would like to lick a chocolate president right now. You licked them good in November. Er, sorry, that didn't come out right either. I didn't want to suggest that you, or anyone else for that matter, would ever want to lick a republican. Well, maybe if they had a nougat center and a creamy milk chocolate skin. Er, sorry, that didn't sound right either. I don't want to make this a black thing. I have lots of friends who are black. Really.</p>
<p>So maybe chocolate presidents are a bad idea too. Do you think that with your egalitarian goals perhaps Presidents Day ought to get moved to a different month? (you know, not black history month.) You wouldn't want it to look like you are trying to hog too many holidays.</p>
<p>I will get back to the drawing board for some more good Presidents Day ideas for you. There are some holidays that do great things with food. Painting eggs or carving up pumpkins. Lots of holidays have the barbecues going on, so that is getting a little cliche. How about a nice lasagna? I will get to work on your new tradition right away.</p>
<p>Happy Presidents Day.<br />
Montana Jones</p>Montana Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17104450365014909054noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10782953.post-1250135006820357062009-02-06T09:36:00.002-07:002009-02-06T09:42:14.330-07:00Shoes<p>Ever have one of those self awareness moments where you suddenly realized you were doing something you did not know you were doing? I recently caught myself stumbling over this pile of crap in my living room. I have to laugh at myself for stumbling over some crap again and again and not doing anything about it. I'm going to file that one under 'things a bachelor can get away with.' The part that really caught me off guard was that this pile of crap was all shoes.</p>
<p>Who the hell lives here? <a href="http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,961002,00.html" title="Time.com - The shoes of Imelda Marcos">Imelda Marcos</a>?</p>
<p>The reason that all these shoes are in a pile in my living room is because I have worn them all recently. It's not like I have a closet full of high heel, open toe fashion accessories waiting to be worn once and put aside. I freakin' use all these. Is that weird? Is it unmanly? Are there people that can get by with only a couple pairs of shoes? I dunno.</p>
<img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 259px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_3GOJok_EIw4/SYxnZTLvVkI/AAAAAAAAAG0/JaozKSoKjFs/s400/shoes1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5299724545852134978" />
<ol>
<li>The new running shoes. Not too many miles on them yet. Used most recently for playing racquetball.</li>
<li>The old hiking boots. The sole is worn, the waterproofing is shot, the stitching is breaking apart, the lining is torn and ratty. But much loved and have carried me many a weary mile. I am now trying to figure out where old boots go when they die.</li>
<li>The new Christmas gift shoes. Comfy and easy to slip in and out of. An easy shoe for wintry weather.</li>
<li>Converse all stars. Cool, hip, fashionable, and fairly new. Perhaps these should be in the closet. I probably won't be wearing them again until the weather warms up and dries out.</li>
<li>The old running shoes. These dudes carried me through the Seattle Marathon several years ago. They are now my everyday sneaker.</li>
<li>I pulled these sneakers out of the closet to make some winter skydives. Boots with hooks for the laces are a poor safety choice and I needed something heavier and warmer than a running shoe for landing in the snow.</li>
<li>The new boots. Brand spanking new hikers. I just spent the better part of a week waterproofing them and sealing the seams. They went for the first walk across town the other day. I can only hope they will carry me as far as the old hiking boots did.</li>
</ol>
<p>I just made a cursory glance at my closet, only five more pairs of shoes in there. Dress shoes, sandals, field cleats, worn out trail runners and some sneakers that never did fit right.</p>
<p>Ladies, for the record, if you have in your closet a pair of high heel, black leather, calf high boots that you almost never wear but they go oh-so-well with that one skirt… That is okay with me. I understand. I was window shopping the other day and saw a pair of cowboy boots and thought to myself "Oooh!" Is that bad?</p>Montana Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17104450365014909054noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10782953.post-28787651879427817672009-01-29T13:49:00.001-07:002009-01-29T13:52:38.662-07:00Thank You<p>Dear _her and _he,</p>
<p>This is a thank you note for the super spiffy Christmas gift. I apologize for procrastinating my gratitude like some nine-year-old that can't quite figure out the importance of thanking Aunt Edna for the gawdaful sweater. But I have a good excuse. I have been too busy enjoying my new shoes.</p>
<p>As _R will attest, I am fiercely picky about my footwear. When I opened the box I gave the shoes a long sideways glance of skepticism. But in the spirit of optimism and gifts gladly given I tried them on. It was a delight to discover that your choice in footgear completely and totally rocks! They are comfy, convenient, and fit like I have been wearing them my whole life.</p>
<p>Mere moments ago I slipped them on to traverse the snowy driveway and deliver a bag of trash to its receptacle. Without your gift that would have been a five minute ordeal of finding and lacing up some other kicks. But that's not all… I have also used these shoes to trample paths through the snow for little old ladies trying to navigate their walkers in the cold harsh outdoors. I have used these shoes as a template for a new line of fashion accessories I am designing. I have used these shoes to chock the tires of a runaway school bus, saving the lives of dozens of children. I have used these shoes as a counterweight in an extensive series of scientific experiments that chart the origin of black holes. (Turns out they have the perfect mass for offsetting the antimatter created by the Large Hadron Collider. Who knew?) I have used these shoes to trample the evil intentions of third world dictators while on secret assignment with the CIA. They even look stylish when I am on stage performing sold out shows with my rock band.</p>
<p>So I apologize for being a little late with the thank you note. I certainly don't want you to think the gift is unappreciated. I think the shoes are fantastic and I know I will be wearing them for years to come. I also think the two of you are fantastic for thinking of me this past Christmas. Aunt Edna, on the other hand, well, her sweater will make a great polishing rag for my awesome new shoes.</p>
<p>Yours in gratitude,<br />
Montana Jones</p>Montana Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17104450365014909054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10782953.post-19689855008273290532009-01-22T13:45:00.001-07:002009-01-22T13:48:12.660-07:00I'm gonna miss Bush jokes<p>At one of his morning briefings president Bush was told that two Brazilian soldiers had been killed. To the surprise of his staff, Bush reacted quite shocked at the news. He had never had the same reaction to news of American deaths. After a few moments pause and reflection he turned to his staff and asked "How many are in a brazillion?"</p>
<hr />
<p>So I went into the bar the other day where I found Bush and Cheney bellied up to the bar sipping their beers. I was so amazed to find them there I had to go up and ask "Hey aren't you guys the leaders of the free world? What are you doing here in my neighborhood bar?"</p>
<p>To which Bush replied "We like going to out of the way places like this to plan big things like our invasion of Iran."</p>
<p>"Whoa" says I, "Your are invading Iran?!? How is that going to happen?"</p>
<p>"Well," says Bush, "We plan to kill five hundred thousand Iranians and one bicycle repair man."</p>
<p>"No way!" says I, "Why would you kill a bicycle repair man?"</p>
<p>Bush then smacks Cheney on the arm and says "See! I told you no one would care about five hundred thousand dead Iranians."</p>
<hr />
<p>Q. What's the difference between the Vietnam War and the Iraq War?</p>
<p>A. George W. Bush had a plan to get out of the Vietnam War.</p>
<hr />
<p>George W. Bush's Intelligence Quiz</p>
<p>While visiting England, George W. Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if they're intelligent.</p>
<p>"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."</p>
<p>She phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"</p>
<p>Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am."</p>
<p>"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"</p>
<p>"Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"</p>
<p>Upon returning to Washington, he decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. He summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, "Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."</p>
<p>"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"</p>
<p>"Uh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"</p>
<p>Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?" Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. He immediately calls a meeting of other senior senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem.</p>
<p>"Now look here Colin Powell, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother, or your sister. Who is it?" Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course, you dumb ass."</p>
<p>Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!" And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, you dumb ass, It's Tony Blair!"</p>Montana Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17104450365014909054noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10782953.post-34269133605104088002009-01-12T16:16:00.002-07:002009-01-12T16:19:19.534-07:00Found in my inbox<blockquote>Swag means "stuff". And FYI in this crazy land, 'slash' means cut, not piss. And 'pissed' means mad not drunk. And 'mad' means angry, not crazy. I know it's bizarre</blockquote>Montana Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17104450365014909054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10782953.post-79004806689300365312009-01-09T17:51:00.002-07:002009-01-09T17:56:23.100-07:00Tastes like onion<p>I woke up with a strong onion flavor in my mouth. I had brushed my teeth before bed but the taste was still there, it was strong enough that I had to jump from bed to brush again. Much of the morning was spent munching peanut butter sandwiches and chewing grape bubble gum. The residual onion flavor lingered through a few more tooth brushings and the mid day meal.</p>
<p>I had put my new food processor X-Mas gift to work the other day. I tossed in a couple tomatoes and some jalapeños and onion and green onion and garlic and spice and such. The goal was a Pico de Gaillo type concoction.</p>
<p>Turns out that I did not have enough tomato and the stuff turned into a spicy green sauce. A spicy green onion sauce. You know how your eyes get all watery when you cut raw onion? That burning sensation in your sinus that screams "raw onion!" My sauce tasted just like that. It looked like Jolly Green Giant jism and it was the flavor of Satan's onion patch.</p>
<p>I have been known to eat a raw onion from time to time. I can enjoy strongly flavored foods. This stuff tasted like all the onion tears ever cried got frozen into a solid brick and then clubbed my brain.</p>
<p>This stuff tasted like onion acid was being injected into my sinus.</p>
<p>This stuff tasted like pinpricks of evil.</p>
<p>This stuff tasted like the day I got heat stroke.</p>
<p>This stuff tasted like suffocating under a mountain of onion.</p>
<p>It was not very good and had strong onion overtones.</p>
<p>You would think that by the fifth or sixth sample I would stop trying to cover the flavor with more cumin and basil and just quit eating it.</p>
<p>It tasted like onion spit.</p>
<p>I tried to salvage it by adding a can of tomato sauce and cooking it a bit. I think that helped mellow it a lot, in fact it may have saved it and turned it into a nice salsa. But I was pretty tired of taste testing by this point so I just stuck it in the fridge. My current dilemma is if I should taste it again or let it lurk in my fridge as the mystery condiment discovered years hence? I am in no hurry to try. After the last go around everything tasted like onion for a day; even my toothpaste.</p>Montana Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17104450365014909054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10782953.post-63327451769561524572009-01-07T16:47:00.003-07:002009-01-07T16:53:36.557-07:00The second best photo of 2008<p>After carefully reviewing the 736 photos I took in 2008, I have concluded that the best one is <a href="http://montanajones.blogspot.com/2008/07/goat.html">this goat that I have already published here</a>.</p>
<p>The runner up, second best photo of the year is this one:</p>
<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_3GOJok_EIw4/SWU_4Re1YfI/AAAAAAAAAGk/BRyM6fnRSMU/s1600-h/P2150048.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_3GOJok_EIw4/SWU_4Re1YfI/AAAAAAAAAGk/BRyM6fnRSMU/s320/P2150048.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5288703573414470130" /></a>Montana Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17104450365014909054noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10782953.post-12676000828366178002008-12-17T20:35:00.002-07:002008-12-17T20:39:03.747-07:00Inflation sucks<dl class="conversation">
<dt>Me:</dt> <dd>Even with all the other expenses going up, at least fuel is dropping.</dd>
<dt>She:</dt> <dd>But we are still be paying those energy charges that were added. You remember the laundry added twenty bucks to our bill for the trucking cost? Well, they aren't taking it off even though gas is back down.</dd>
<dt>Me:</dt> <dd>True. And we can't do anything about it. And it sucks.</dd>
</dl>Montana Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17104450365014909054noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10782953.post-60608381905352023392008-11-19T19:50:00.002-07:002008-11-19T19:54:27.421-07:00Going back to the food bank<p>I came back to work another volunteer shift at the food bank. It has been about six months since I have last been here. Most everything is still the same, except for the things that have changed.</p>
<p>The sign that reads "Milk is only available to families with children" has been upgraded from a handwritten note on the back of a newsletter to a word processed and printed sign on a fresh sheet of paper cradled in a sheet protector. It used to get taken down when milk supplies were good. Looks like that hasn't happened in a while.</p>
<p>There is stress in the air that was not here a half year ago. Volunteers are bailing out the moment their shift ends instead of lingering to help with one more thing. Not as many people are smiling.</p>
<p>The place is busy. All last winter I never worked a shift as crazy busy as my first couple hours back.</p>
<p>A temporary work station has been built out of milk crates in the prep area. Apparently it has been busy enough that it's not worth the effort to pack it up.</p>
<p>There are gaps in our record books now from people taking a number to get in queue, but leaving before they make it to the front of the busy waiting room.</p>
<p>There are war stories now. The full time employees talk of a bleak day in October when they gave out over twelve thousand pounds of food in a single day. That's more food than the big real estate agent food drive brought in. Some of the smaller pantries in the county were cleaned out down to the bare shelves that day.</p>
<p>I don't know about you, but when the food bank gets busy like this I start getting scared.</p>Montana Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17104450365014909054noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10782953.post-23757764146034662832008-10-26T17:17:00.001-06:002008-10-26T17:21:04.244-06:00Learning experience<dl class="conversation">
<dt>Me:</dt> <dd>I'm looking forward to B_'s first birthday party. How's our little guy doing?</dd>
<dt>He:</dt> <dd>He is smiling, pooping and climbing up things. He got this bump on the head here when he tried to climb the rock out front.</dd>
<dt>Me:</dt> <dd>Awww, did you take a bump to the noggin? Sounds like a learning experience to me.</dd>
<dt>She:</dt> <dd>He is learning to stand up and to fall over.</dd>
<dt>Me:</dt> <dd>Roll with it little buddy. You are going to have many opportunities in this life to discover that our best learning experiences are also a little painful.</dd>
</dl>
<p>The meeting earlier in the day was decidedly tense. We were determined to do our business on our own terms. BP_ and I had been preparing for weeks. Months in fact. We had the issues spelled out as clearly as possible. We had our goals defined. Our talking points were rehearsed. We were confident. We were prepared to meet anger, antagonism and personal attacks. We even had secret signals ready to help each other out if things started to go badly. It is a difficult thing to confront someone else, demand respect, and insist that they make sacrifices to change the status quo. As with most battle plans, ours did not survive the first contact.</p>
<p>Higher Power chastised us first thing for the stern tone we were taking in our written statements. A lot of people in that room were expecting the worst and in shields up mode. We were able to stand our ground quite successfully. They conceded many points we were not expecting. We conceded on points as well. I learned some things.</p>
<p>I learned that preparation is everything. Even though the battle plan was down in flames in the first moments we still had our goals, resources and a solid knowledge of the ground we were trying to cover.</p>
<p>I learned that while long standing issues are best resolved before they are long standing, sometimes they become long standing because of talking softly. For right or wrong, we had to remind some people that we also carried a big stick.</p>
<p>I learned that if a long standing issue is not getting resolved, being stern and wielding the big stick will suddenly get a lot of attention pointed at the issue. Sometimes more attention than expected. If you are sure you are in the right, and you will know if you did your preparation correctly, you can stand your ground confidently.</p>
<p>I learned that when you rock the boat it makes a lot of people very uncomfortable. Rocking the boat can make yourself very uncomfortable as well. I learned that I do not want to rock the boat very often.</p>
<p>For good or ill the stern tone worked. I don't know if it is the same thing as respect, but I do know that I was taken seriously and the outcome of the meeting was favorable to us. It is a day I will remember for a long time. The experience was a little painful. One year olds are not the only ones that ache for a while after a learning experience.</p>Montana Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17104450365014909054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10782953.post-66149055265745046462008-10-15T18:00:00.002-06:002008-10-15T18:06:57.919-06:00From the Spokane Half Marathon<ul>
<li>The best way to see a new city is to run a marathon in it. (Half marathons are good too.) Spokane, I salute your beautiful city.</li>
<li>I swear, the next race I run I will train for the last miles as much as I train for the first miles. (I think I told myself this after my last race too.)</li>
<li>Do not fear the hills.</li>
<li>It takes about a quarter mile to go from cold and underdressed to hot and overdressed.</li>
<li>Hey race organizers; how about taking a ten cent piece of chalk and drawing a line on the sidewalk where the finish line is. Do the same for the starting line too. And get a gun or honk a horn or make some sort of loud noise to indicate the start of the race.</li>
<li>More volunteers stationed in the last third of the course please. More cheering spectators would be good too. It's lonely near the end.</li>
<li>It sucks when your watch battery dies at the starting line.</li>
<li>Not knowing the time did not really affect my pace.</li>
<li>Not knowing the time gives me less to think about while running.</li>
<li>Who in their right mind thinks that watermelon is a good flavor for a sports drink? Are your really trying to make me barf mid race?</li>
<li>In the latter portion of the race I asked all the volunteers I passed if I was winning. Some of them said yes, some of them said no, I don't think any of them found the question as amusing as I did.</li>
<li>Some people run funny. How is it possible to move forward at a run while holding your knees together and throwing your feet out to the side? Also, dude, don't shuffle your feet. Pick your foot all the way up off the ground and then put the heel down first and roll across the ball of your foot and launch with your toe.</li>
<li>I finished this half marathon in half the time of my last marathon back in 2003. Not bad for being under trained and having a nasty cold.</li>
<li>Sorry girl right behind me at the finish line, but there was no way I was going to let you pass me in the last 100 yards of a race.</li>
<li>Extra special thanks to the girl at the race start that directed us to the empty public toilet just out of sight from the hundred person long line for the port-a-johns.</li>
<li>The next day I had almost no pain at all. That is good clean living right there.</li>
<li>If you are ever passing through Coeur d'Alene, Hudson's is the best damn hamburger joint anywhere.</li>
</ul>Montana Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17104450365014909054noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10782953.post-31601354699744455572008-09-19T17:51:00.004-06:002008-09-19T17:57:09.783-06:00Froggy<p>Qaaarch, Qaaarch, qaarch!</p>
<p>What the hell is that noise? I had the phone tied to one ear and taking at least half of my attention. I couldn't figure out what that bizarre noise was or where it was coming from. The noise stopped before the phone call did.</p>
<p>Hours later, in bed, while drifting in a pleasant snooze I heard it again. Qaaarch, squaaarch, Qaaarch! Ye gods! What is that? The noise promptly stopped again, but I got out of bed and investigated anyway. Patrolling through my living room in the dark with a flashlight.</p>
<p>The only thing out of ordinary was the new pile of crap I brought back from the summer office. Was it a phone in there somewhere? A smoke detector? BP_ was using some CO2 detectors for one of her recent projects, but how would one of those have ended up in a box of paperwork? I had to investigate. On top of the pile was a camp chair borrowed from the office, I dragged it out to it's intended home on the porch and when I opened it something fell out and landed on my bare foot. It moved. I jumped. It jumped. I made the noise this time, "Eeeearch!" and made the tippy toe -- eeew I have something alive on me -- dance back into the house and slammed the screen door closed.</p>
<p>With wits back about me I investigated again with flashlight, and the little gray lump that had fallen from the char was a frog. Cute little guy, about an inch across. Amazing that the little thing could make such a loud and obnoxious noise. I Googled frogs and guessed that it was probably a pacific tree frog, not poisonous, and put myself back to bed. It took a while to fall asleep again, and I dreamed of vicious spiky attack frogs.</p>
<p>The next morning the little guy was still on the porch, climbing the legs of the camp chair, the home I had obviously co-opted and transported many miles from it's source. Now instead of having trees and grasses and wild lands close by, the little bugger was stuck on a second floor balcony. The only wilderness being an oregano planter and the scattered beer bottles on the neighbor's side of the divider.</p>
<p>I did more Googling. The little guy is going to need water and heat and bugs to eat. Either that, or a safe place to hibernate for the winter. I feel bad for taking him from what was probably a nice home back at the office porch and moving him to a city balcony. I gently rearranged the camp chair to a better spot on the porch and put out a dish of water.</p>
<p>After a morning of running errands, I looked in on froggy again. He was out of the chair and sunning himself on the porch. I sat down to watch him for a while and he made a tentative hop. I was admiring his froglike grace and wondering weather he would be foolish enough to jump off the edge when he made another, bigger jump. "Aiiiiie!" I cried out as he went flying off the edge of the balcony. I peered over the railing until I spotted his little gray lump in the lawn below. I knew I had to resolve this frog issue once and for all.</p>
<p>I fetched a Tupperware and lid, added a splash of water and went down to the lawn below. He appeared unharmed from his mighty leap and it took no effort to coax him to hop into the little container. I held the lid over top, askew so air could get in and walked him to the little pond a couple minutes away.</p>
<p>In a shady spot next to a tree I put the container down, removing the lid. I sat next to him for a while and took stock of the nearby water with lots of algae and bugs and the muddy shore with grass, reeds and willows. There were ducks, turtles, spider webs and life all around. I worried a little about birds and cats and other critters that could eat frogs. I actually thought about scooping him up and taking him back home. But this was a good a place for him.</p>
<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_3GOJok_EIw4/SNQ7TXyW13I/AAAAAAAAAE4/1m2u5PXFY40/s1600-h/froggy.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_3GOJok_EIw4/SNQ7TXyW13I/AAAAAAAAAE4/1m2u5PXFY40/s320/froggy.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5247884669782251378" /></a>
<p>Strange the way the universe can pick us up and put us down again so far from where we are born. Sometimes fate gives us a nice landing spot, sometimes you end up in a cage, and sometimes there are predators and challenges to overcome. Even with my good intentions I don't know if I ended up helping or hurting the little frog that chose to live in my chair.</p>
<p>After we sat together unmoving for a while I got tired of waiting for froggy to take the initiative and hop away. I picked up the Tupperware and shook the little bugger out onto the ground. Sometimes, even if you don't do anything the universe will push your ass around anyway.</p>Montana Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17104450365014909054noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10782953.post-87951973062015874482008-09-17T20:34:00.003-06:002008-09-17T20:36:20.867-06:00Air Guitars<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_3GOJok_EIw4/SNG-Y-lVmYI/AAAAAAAAAEw/87H4OASZj2E/s1600-h/airguitars.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_3GOJok_EIw4/SNG-Y-lVmYI/AAAAAAAAAEw/87H4OASZj2E/s320/airguitars.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5247184377189079426" /></a>Montana Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17104450365014909054noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10782953.post-33643435107959537332008-09-14T05:04:00.000-06:002008-09-14T05:05:27.758-06:00Grammar Police<dl class="conversation">
<dt>Me:</dt> <dd>Are you driving back to Missoula tonight?</dd>
<dt>She:</dt> <dd>Yeah.</dd>
<dt>Me:</dt> <dd>Well, drive safe.</dd>
<dt>She:</dt> <dd>I will. I'll drive safely too.</dd>
<dt>Me:</dt> <dd>And don't let the grammar police catch you.</dd>
</dl>Montana Joneshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17104450365014909054noreply@blogger.com0