Montana Jones

Why Montana is a cooler place to live than the previous address.

• They sell beer in the grocery stores.
• No sales tax.
• The bartender will sell your drinks ‘to go’ if you want.
• The microbreweries here put out way better beer than what you can find in Boulder Colorado.
• Mountains. The finest mountains in the entire rocky mountain west.
• 11 hours of sunlight in the summertime.
• Traffic is so light it amazes me.
• No 85 octane gas. Only 87 and up.
• I have never had a bad cheeseburger here.

Why Montana is not so cool.

• Where are all the girls?
• About 5 hours of sunlight in the winter.
• What is there to do after dark?
• No one uses the internet.

To be fair, I have met some pretty nice girls here, but I think this state has a transitional population. All the young and outgoing people come here in the summertime but leave for more fertile ground in the winter. And who could blame them. But now I am stuck here, and it is winter, and the only people here are retirees that like cold. Not exactly a barrel of laughs this local population.

I’m pretty sure there is a nightlife here somewhere. Everyone would get cabin fever otherwise. I guess Whitefish has some nightlife. But there is only so much time one can spend in Whitefish. That thing about no sales tax does not apply to Whitefish as they have applied a local city tax to everything. The rich yuppy fuckers are taking over and driving the prices up for everyone else. Damn them.

And that internet thing too. I tried looking up some real estate online the other day and found squat. This part of the world still does its business through the freakin’ ink smeared on paper, only released once a week classified ads. And they like it that way! Talk about behind the times. I even looked at the online dating websites and found exactly three listings for a 75 mile radius of my zip code. Sad.

Posted by: Montana Jones / 8:00 PM