Montana Jones

Montana n: A state of the northwest United States bordering on Canada. Admitted as the 41st state in 1889. The fourth largest state in the union, it includes vast prairies and numerous majestic mountain ranges.
Syn: Treasure State, Big Sky Country, Last Best Place.

Jones n: slang. An addiction or very deep craving.

Friday, March 25, 2005


I smoked my first cigarette.
You what?
At the conference. I was doing more drinking than I usually do and so I asked * to take me outside and share a cigarette.
Did you enjoy it?
They only let me have about two puffs off of it before they decided they were corrupting me and took it away.
Why did you decide you wanted a cigarette?
Because you are always giving me a hard time over having no vices.
I know you better than that. You have vices. And I give you a hard time over it in jest. You know that right?
Dessert isn't a real vice.
Some vices are better than others.

Back in 2003 I managed to kick my caffeine addiction. Strangely enough I don't think I am any better off for it. The biggest difference is that I no longer keep a stash of Diet Coke near my bed to supply the first thing in the morning fix.

As my Montana relocation became reality I decided that there is nothing quite like a lifestyle change when it comes to breaking old habits. I decided it was time to get rid of one more of my vices. An illegal one that I don't care to elaborate on at this time. It's actually an easy vice to get away from. All you really have to do is get away from it. I only miss it when I'm bored.

This past week whilst checking out my 'I'm not so young anymore' paunch in the mirror I decided one more vice has got to go. Sugar water. When I kicked caffeine I pretty much just switched over to the caffeine free sodas and kept up a high consumption rate of high fructose corn syrup. A lot of my calories come from sugar water. If I am to make any sort of progress in the battle against my manly gut I will either have to start running marathons again or I have to cut calories somewhere.

The thing about weaning oneself off of a vice is that it becomes an all encompassing obsession. I have gone four days now without a soda, but at day two I had to give in and went for cool-aid. Still sugar water, but at least it's not high fructose corn syrup. It gets hard to concentrate on work when your body is telling you it wants something. I am still undecided if the sugar water vice really has to go. I am going to try to spend a couple weeks eating an above average number of salads and less sugar; it ought to show in the waistline at least a little, right?

There is a certain amount of remorse in giving up a vice. I certainly miss the fun times of my youth when drugs were new and fun, when I could stand smoke without my lungs hurting, when I could eat any quantity of sugary or fatty foods, when I could drink like drinking was important. I miss all that. I'm gonna miss soda too.

I have always believed vice is important. It helps define your character and personality. A vice can make people more interesting. I think that people that don't struggle against vice are weaker than those that do. This strength doesn't come from being vice free, and it doesn't mean having to win the fight. It is the constant battle that keeps us strong. Or perhaps I am reading too much into my sugar water.

Since my relocation I have improved my flossing habits, kicked an illegal habit, am working on improving my exercise habits, and now I am in an experiment with less sugar. I hope all this self improvement doesn't leave me boring and weak. Stop me before I give up beer.

I will confess to a complete caffeine addiction. If I don't have a healthy (ha ha) dose of caffeine before 11:00 A.M. I get a headache and grumpiness soon follows.

I can relate to the sugar water vice as well.

I'll help you give that up if you help me. We can start a sugar water support group. But whatever you do, don't give up the beer.
I gave up caffeine along with almost everything I enjoy and was a vegetarian, then a vegan for years. Long story... but the day after my ex left - I ordered a pizza. By the second week it had pepperoni on it. Finally returned to my carnivorous roots.
But I digress... no way I'm giving up my caffeine again. Get rid of the high fructose stuff. Make giant jars of sun tea & add sugar. Beet, not cane please - we have to stay in business somehow!
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