Montana Jones

The most bizarre part of my day

The most bizarre part of my day could have been the grouse pecking at my hiking boots and chasing me up the trail. At least I think it was a grouse. The bird identification websites were a little tricky to figure out with all the dendragapus obscurus shit. Anyway the little fucker was mean and aggressive. He chased me a long way. I'm sure if it ever came down to it I could have stepped on him, like if that beak of his got in a lucky shot and drew blood I would have had to take him out. I like to be a nature lover and at peace with the wild creatures but the little fuck was picking on someone way bigger than he was. Survival of the fittest and biggest is supposed to be part of nature too. Gotta give him credit though, that little bird going after someone as big as me, that takes courage.

He was probably defending the nest is what it is. Sacrifice yourself for the babies. Stand your ground for the lady bird back at the nest. That is romance, true pure love right there. The women don't see it though. They don't think you are in love unless you are talking about your feelings. Any father on fathers day can talk about busting ass for ten hours a day doing damned stupid work getting treated like crap because the wife and kids back home need food and shoes and color teevee. According to some that's not romantic, that's not love, that's not talking about feelings. But again, it takes courage. Any successful father has had to chase after something way bigger than himself.

The most bizarre part of my day could have been breaking into my place of business with a leatherman. It is supposed to be government property with special coded keys going to numbered locks and I had to sign out my set of keys with a signature and everything. All that accountability crap and the maintenance people can't even get the bolt to line up with the doorframe. The whole thing was held closed with some bolts I could undo with a pair of pocket pliers. I suppose that puts me in the position of the little dude pecking at the big government. I suppose if I actually drew blood or money I would probably have gotten stepped on. My side of the story involves defending the nest.

The most bizarre part of my day could have been the girl inviting me to jack off with her in the woods. I wasn't expecting it. I figured she had meant it when she put down the no more sex, no more relationship ultimatum. I was trying to be cool about it. Doing things like talking about feelings, cooking dinner, going on hikes with her. Being romantic is easy when no one is relying on you. When being stable and solid and reliable is no longer required you can get away with the mushy shit. Women don't understand love. They think the ten hour work day doesn't count as love. Well it is all about self love now; my ten hour work days are for me, not her or anyone else. I've got the courage to take on a business, to risk getting stepped on.

She held up her end of the bargain, self love does not really count as sex according to some. So there we were, pant's around our hiking boots stroking ourselves. She will let me stand between her and the attacking grouse. She will watch me bust down a door I have a key to. She will let me stand alone as I shoulder the risks of business. For this I get to spread my jacket on the damp ground and look at her tits while fondling myself. She thought we were courageous for doing it outdoors.

Posted by: Montana Jones / 8:32 PM