Montana Jones

Montana n: A state of the northwest United States bordering on Canada. Admitted as the 41st state in 1889. The fourth largest state in the union, it includes vast prairies and numerous majestic mountain ranges.
Syn: Treasure State, Big Sky Country, Last Best Place.

Jones n: slang. An addiction or very deep craving.

Friday, January 09, 2009

Tastes like onion

I woke up with a strong onion flavor in my mouth. I had brushed my teeth before bed but the taste was still there, it was strong enough that I had to jump from bed to brush again. Much of the morning was spent munching peanut butter sandwiches and chewing grape bubble gum. The residual onion flavor lingered through a few more tooth brushings and the mid day meal.

I had put my new food processor X-Mas gift to work the other day. I tossed in a couple tomatoes and some jalapeños and onion and green onion and garlic and spice and such. The goal was a Pico de Gaillo type concoction.

Turns out that I did not have enough tomato and the stuff turned into a spicy green sauce. A spicy green onion sauce. You know how your eyes get all watery when you cut raw onion? That burning sensation in your sinus that screams "raw onion!" My sauce tasted just like that. It looked like Jolly Green Giant jism and it was the flavor of Satan's onion patch.

I have been known to eat a raw onion from time to time. I can enjoy strongly flavored foods. This stuff tasted like all the onion tears ever cried got frozen into a solid brick and then clubbed my brain.

This stuff tasted like onion acid was being injected into my sinus.

This stuff tasted like pinpricks of evil.

This stuff tasted like the day I got heat stroke.

This stuff tasted like suffocating under a mountain of onion.

It was not very good and had strong onion overtones.

You would think that by the fifth or sixth sample I would stop trying to cover the flavor with more cumin and basil and just quit eating it.

It tasted like onion spit.

I tried to salvage it by adding a can of tomato sauce and cooking it a bit. I think that helped mellow it a lot, in fact it may have saved it and turned it into a nice salsa. But I was pretty tired of taste testing by this point so I just stuck it in the fridge. My current dilemma is if I should taste it again or let it lurk in my fridge as the mystery condiment discovered years hence? I am in no hurry to try. After the last go around everything tasted like onion for a day; even my toothpaste.

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I was a girl, but clumsy things. I do not know how to cook, sew, above, ca. I have too insipid and tedious, but that's my personality. It's hard to change

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