Montana Jones

Montana n: A state of the northwest United States bordering on Canada. Admitted as the 41st state in 1889. The fourth largest state in the union, it includes vast prairies and numerous majestic mountain ranges.
Syn: Treasure State, Big Sky Country, Last Best Place.

Jones n: slang. An addiction or very deep craving.

Sunday, February 20, 2005

Customer Service

Phone:
Ring. Ring-a-ring. Ring.
Me:
Hello.
Girls voice on the phone:
Hello, Mr Jones*?
Me:
Yes.
She:
I am calling from Century Tel** to follow up on your new phone service and see if everything is okay. Were you satisfied with your new phone line installation?
Me:
I guess so. Just one little thing though.
She:
And what is that?
Me:
Well there were problems getting the DSL line working. It took you two weeks longer than I was told it would. Can I get that two weeks pro-rated on my bill.
She:
I'm sorry, I don't have any connection with the billing department. But you could call customer service.
Me:
Well since you are a Century Tel employee perhaps you could do that for me.
She:
Well, I'm not really employed by Century Tel.
Me:
Your not a Century Tel employee?
She:
Well, uh, no. We are contracted to make these calls.
Me:
So what can you do for me?
She:
I could connect you to customer service.
Me:
You called me remember. I would like you to do that.
She:
I can't do that sir.
Me:
Then why did you call me?
She:
We, uh, are calling to follow up on your new phone line and asking if you are happy with the service.
Me:
Well the answer would be apparently not.
She:
Yes, I understand. I can connect you to customer service.
Me:
Well if that is the only thing you can do, you might as well do that.
She:
One moment please. (pause) Sir, I have just been informed that it is after hours and i can't connect you to customer service.
Me:
Then what good are you?
She:
I, uh, well, uh, we are...
Me:
Listen, I don't appreciate getting called like this to be told you can't do anything for me. Tell me again why you called?
She:
We, uh, are following up on your new phone installation.
Me:
And what can you do about my problem?
She:
I could give you the number for the customer service department.
Me:
You might as well, if that is all you are capable of.
She:
1-800-xxx-xxxx
Me:
Thank you.
She:
And thank you Mr. Jones. Is there anything else I can do you for you?
Me:
Perhaps you better not call again unless there is something you can do for me.
She:
Yes sir, have a good evening.
Me:
Thank you. You too.
Phone:
(click)

* Names changed to protect the innocent. ** But not all names, the guilty have to answer for themselves.

Comments:
i get those calls all the time...
 
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