Montana Jones

Montana n: A state of the northwest United States bordering on Canada. Admitted as the 41st state in 1889. The fourth largest state in the union, it includes vast prairies and numerous majestic mountain ranges.
Syn: Treasure State, Big Sky Country, Last Best Place.

Jones n: slang. An addiction or very deep craving.

Monday, February 21, 2005

Presidents' Day

Dear President Bush

I just wanted to pen a little note wishing you a happy Presidents' Day. As I was out and about today trying to get some things done I discovered that lots of places like the bank and the post office were closed and that there were lots of kids not in school today. Didn't take me too long to figure out we were having a national holiday.

It's nice that you can give lots of people the day off with Presidents' Day. Hope you got a little time off yourself. It would be really cool if you could do that with Fathers Day too. I've seen lots of dads get pretty grumpy from working too much, they could use an extra days off now and then, and not everybody gets Presidents' Day off from work. Mothers Day would be okay too, but moms already get those great brunches and lots of Hallmark cards.

That's why I am writing in fact. I forgot to send my mom a mothers day card one year and I caught holy hell for that. Not from mom, bless her heart, but dad gave me a good talking too. Then my brother lit into me, and after that his wife called up to chew me out. Now I keep a stack of Mothers Day cards sitting in the closet and when I get that feeling I am forgetting something important I just shoot one off in case that is it. So anyway, when I figured out it was Presidents' Day today I figured I better write out a quick note. I'm sure you wouldn't get too mad if I blew off your Presidents' Day card, but I am a little worried about some of the people watching your back. The secret service guys make me nervous. I would rather not tangle with the IRS either. Let's not even talk about the CIA and the FBI with all the homeland security and patriot acts going on. Let's just say I would rather not end up on your enemy combatants list if you know what I mean.

Anyway, I know that you and I don't see eye to eye on a lot of issues and I am sure you would have preferred that I voted for you instead of sending a card. But I do appreciate all the hard work you do being the leader of the free world. So for the sake of the national holiday I am willing to put our differences aside for a day, especially if it gives those hard working postal workers and bank tellers a little break too.

Wishing you a great Presidents' Day!
Montana Jones