Montana n: A state of the northwest United States bordering on Canada. Admitted as the 41st state in 1889. The fourth largest state in the union, it includes vast prairies and numerous majestic mountain ranges.
Syn: Treasure State, Big Sky Country, Last Best Place.
Jones n: slang. An addiction or very deep craving.
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
The girl cried softly as I cradled her in the dark. Her naked skin warm and smooth against my chest. "I wish I understood why you were crying."
"Because I don't want to hurt you."
Man, what do you say to that? I just lay still my arms draped around her, letting her feel my warmth as I was feeling hers. I felt awkward, I was restless, my hard-on pressed against her back, my left arm slowly tingled it's way to numbness and all I could do is lie there motionless and hold her while she cried.
Hours earlier at an interlude from our afternoon lovemaking she decided she was hungry and that we were done. She climbed across me out of bed and began pulling on her underclothes, turned back to me and laughed to see me gripping my stiff member, brought back to life by the site of her naked body squirming into her panties. "You'll get more after dinner", she cooed. "Now get up, I'm hungry."
She showed no interest in kissing or caressing and I was put at a distance. The switch from passion to somber was unusual for her. She did the same move the day before when we discovered the condom had broken. The lovemaking abruptly ended and she would not accept any discussion of the subject. She simply spooned into me and held my arms wrapped around her in silence. That one made sense to me. An accident like that can be serious. It can spoil the mood. Perhaps the anxiety of that moment was still with her.
The dinner was long and delicious and sexually frustrating. The perfume of strangers, the voluptuous breasts and short skirt on the waitress, the springtime clothing on the pedestrians outside the window. When our feet bumped under the table and I let my leg linger against hers she gave me a short smile and accused "you really are horny aren't you?" I smiled back. Blaming her for not finishing what she started would not be gentlemanly.
When we finally found ourselves in bed again it was announced that she was full and tired and there would be no sex.
"You have been running hot and cold lately, what is up with that?"
"The same feelings aren't there anymore. I mean I still care about you, I love you, but that boyfriend feeling has faded. Is it bad that we keep having sex?"
"No, it's not bad. We have never had bad sex."
"Not bad, but wrong. Is it wrong?"
"We are enjoying ourselves, were not hurting anyone."
"But we are not together anymore, and the sex is holding us together. Like when you ask about my fantasies and my sex life. That stuff is part of relationships."
"I guess I just want to keep the sex good and interesting. But you are right, you can't grow a sexual relationship without also growing a relationship."
"I think we should stop. After this weekend no more sex."
There was nothing more to say. She turned and spooned into me, the warmth of skin holding us like magnets. I could feel her body start to shake and heard the sniffles of tears.
There is more Jones in the archives: February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 December 2009 January 2010 May 2014