Montana Jones

Montana n: A state of the northwest United States bordering on Canada. Admitted as the 41st state in 1889. The fourth largest state in the union, it includes vast prairies and numerous majestic mountain ranges.
Syn: Treasure State, Big Sky Country, Last Best Place.

Jones n: slang. An addiction or very deep craving.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

From my outbox

Breaking anonymity is a trust thing you see. And I am probably being over protective. Perhaps paranoid is the right word. I have been very cautious and protective of my Montana Jones identity. I do not fear you coming from across town and lurking in my bushes, peering in my windows, watching me masturbate, bathe, prepare meals, daydream or live my life. The blogging in fact is about being able to share these intimate moments of privacy through art and expression and find a greater meaning in them. But this needs to happen in an appropriate context. I would never go to a design meeting with a client and ramble on about bedroom emotions, vacation adventures or finding casserole dishes. That could damage an otherwise positive business relationship. That would be out of context. Just because I can say something expressive about casserole dishes does not mean that I should do it everywhere. And that is the crazy thing about the internet; for better or worse it is everywhere. What I fear from revealing my true identity is not being stalked by you or meeting you or having you learn that I prefer to sleep in the buff; but that you would be able to expose me on some forum of the internet. Then the only control I would have over being seen as a professional or as a freak that flaunts sleeping naked would be to stop using the internet for such a creative expression. That would make me sad. There is a time and a place for expressing rants and emotions and personal details, and times and places not to. The internet tears those walls down. Anonymity builds them up again.

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I often wish I had used a "pen name" when I created my blog and further still, I wish that I had never allowed my "real life friends" to know that I had a blog...the result is that I find myself editing what I really want to say a good portion of the time. Keep it the way that makes you happy...don't "out" yourself if you don't want to, or create another blog for the 'other' you.
I didn't reveal my blog to my "real life" friends, but some easily googled me and found it. So it ruined that "anonymity" for me. I wish I too had started one where I could express myself a little more anonymously.
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