Montana Jones

Montana n: A state of the northwest United States bordering on Canada. Admitted as the 41st state in 1889. The fourth largest state in the union, it includes vast prairies and numerous majestic mountain ranges.
Syn: Treasure State, Big Sky Country, Last Best Place.

Jones n: slang. An addiction or very deep craving.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Presidents Day

Dear George,

Happy Presidents Day! Well here we are at your last ever Presidents Day. Next year you will have to give the holiday to the next guy (or gal). Don't feel too bad about that, giving up your own holiday is not so bad. After you retire every day will be a holiday. Just think of all the time that you are going to spend on the golf course next year. I know that golf is not nearly as exciting as landing fighter jets on aircraft carriers and telling the generals how to fight wars and spending time in the dungeons torturing people, but you can't be president forever. At least now the secret service might let you go hunting with Dick Cheney again.

You have left the next president with some pretty big shoes to fill when it comes to this holiday. I think that most presidents would have been cool with a backyard barbecue, possibly a ski trip. But not you; your Presidents Day celebrations had some serious festivities going on. Like games of hide and seek with weapons of freakin' mass destruction. Woot! No small stakes party games for you. There is no way a democratic panzy president can top that. What are they going to play? Find the tree hugger in the forest? They probably won't even let you use clearcutting.

I know you don't like to make your Presidents Day celebrations all that big of a deal. I'm guessing that is why you give so many people the day off along with you. That way everyone is busy enjoying their own ski trip or barbecue and don't pay so much attention to what you are up to. Good thing too, all those poor people and newspaper reporters raised an awful stink when no one found those WMD's. Sheesh. Just because they didn't find the big prize is no reason to get their panties in a twist.

So what are you planning for this year? For your last Presidents Day holiday are you going to have a big blow out with games of pin the terrorist to the waterboard and playing nuclear chicken with Iran? Or do you have in mind a quieter celebration with a few of your close oil buddies swimming in a big pool of money?

Whichever it is, I'm gonna miss your larger than life style. You have inspired me to live as if there will be no consequences. Enjoy your holiday.

Montana Jones

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