Montana n: A state of the northwest United States bordering on Canada. Admitted as the 41st state in 1889. The fourth largest state in the union, it includes vast prairies and numerous majestic mountain ranges.
Syn: Treasure State, Big Sky Country, Last Best Place.
Jones n: slang. An addiction or very deep craving.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Dear _her and _he,
This is a thank you note for the super spiffy Christmas gift. I apologize for procrastinating my gratitude like some nine-year-old that can't quite figure out the importance of thanking Aunt Edna for the gawdaful sweater. But I have a good excuse. I have been too busy enjoying my new shoes.
As _R will attest, I am fiercely picky about my footwear. When I opened the box I gave the shoes a long sideways glance of skepticism. But in the spirit of optimism and gifts gladly given I tried them on. It was a delight to discover that your choice in footgear completely and totally rocks! They are comfy, convenient, and fit like I have been wearing them my whole life.
Mere moments ago I slipped them on to traverse the snowy driveway and deliver a bag of trash to its receptacle. Without your gift that would have been a five minute ordeal of finding and lacing up some other kicks. But that's not all… I have also used these shoes to trample paths through the snow for little old ladies trying to navigate their walkers in the cold harsh outdoors. I have used these shoes as a template for a new line of fashion accessories I am designing. I have used these shoes to chock the tires of a runaway school bus, saving the lives of dozens of children. I have used these shoes as a counterweight in an extensive series of scientific experiments that chart the origin of black holes. (Turns out they have the perfect mass for offsetting the antimatter created by the Large Hadron Collider. Who knew?) I have used these shoes to trample the evil intentions of third world dictators while on secret assignment with the CIA. They even look stylish when I am on stage performing sold out shows with my rock band.
So I apologize for being a little late with the thank you note. I certainly don't want you to think the gift is unappreciated. I think the shoes are fantastic and I know I will be wearing them for years to come. I also think the two of you are fantastic for thinking of me this past Christmas. Aunt Edna, on the other hand, well, her sweater will make a great polishing rag for my awesome new shoes.
Yours in gratitude,
There is more Jones in the archives: February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 December 2009 January 2010 May 2014