Montana Jones

Who's who in Montana

Who: Disillusioned youth.
Age: 15-21
Hat: Baseball cap
Catch phrase: "When I get out of this state I'm gonna…" OR "I can't wait to get out of this state."
Likes to wear: What the people on television wear.
Knowledgeable of: Reasons to leave Montana.
Found near: Video game consoles, skate boards, high schools.
Drives: second hand vehicles. Often rusted, occasionally spewing smoke.
Drinks: Soda.

Who: Friendly Neighbor
Age: 30-55
Hat: Baseball cap (clean)
Catch phrase: "Have you heard about the Johnsons…" OR "Have you heard what the Smiths are doing?"
Likes to wear: Clothes sold at Wal Mart
Knowledgeable of: Neighborhood gossip. Supermarket specials.
Found near: Supermarkets, post offices, banks.
Drives: American made four door family cars. Often clean, not rusted.
Drinks: Beer.

Who: Recluse
Age: 30 and up
Hat: wool
Catch phrase: "This place is getting too crowded. Someone just put up a house two miles down the road."
Likes to wear: Unknown, they are hardly ever seen.
Knowledgeable of: All of society's problems.
Found near: Won't be found near anything. They are trying to get away from it all.
Drives: Pickup Truck. Dirty.
Drinks: For as long as the beer supply lasts after monthly trip into town.

Who: Ranchers
Age: 30 and up.
Hat: Baseball cap (dirty) OR cowboy hat (clean).
Catch phrase: "Howdy"
Likes to wear: Blue jeans, flannel.
Knowledgeable of: Bovines, hay, the weather.
Found near: Dirt roads.
Drives: Pickup truck, dirt or rust optional. Tractors.
Drinks: Coffee

Who: Cowboys (cowgirls)
Age: timeless.
Hat: cowboy hat
Catch phrase: "Quit it you damn horse."
Likes to wear: Cowboy boots, cowboy hat, oversized belt buckle.
Knowledgeable of: Horses, common sense.
Found near: Horses.
Drives: Pickup truck. Often with horse trailer.
Drinks: Coffee, whiskey.

Who: Rugged outdoorsmen. (and women)
Age: 25-45
Hat: Fishing hat, felt hat or winter cap.
Catch phrase: "I was out hunting last weekend…" OR "I was out fishing last weekend…" OR "I left work early to do some fishing…"
Likes to wear: Hip waders, sturdy boots, flannel, wool.
Knowledgeable of: The best fishing spots.
Found near: Forested areas, sportsman shops, gun shows, drinking establishments.
Drives: Pickup truck. Usually dirty or rusted. Gunrack optional.
Drinks: Copiously.

Who: Fashionable outdoorsmen. (and women)
Age: 21-35
Hat: Ski hat
Catch phrase: "It's soooo beautiful here."
Likes to wear: Gore-tex, nylon, synthetic base layer and waterproof outer shell.
Knowledgeable of: The best hiking trails.
Found near: Hiking trails, ski slopes, kayak shops, Whitefish.
Drives: Subaru or SUV (clean).
Drinks: Microbrew or wine.

Who: Hippies. Also known as "Missoula Hippies"
Age: 18-25
Hat: Bandana
Catch phrase: "Is this organically grown?"
Likes to wear: Hemp cloth, non synthetic wool blends, dreadlocks. (Dirty).
Knowledgeable of: 47 different ways to save the planet.
Found near: Missoula.
Drives: Subaru. Dirty with bumper stickers.
Drinks: Chai tea, fruit smoothies.

Who: Retirees
Age: 55 and up
Hat: could be anything. (clean)
Catch phrase: "I like it when it gets this cold."
Likes to wear: Clothes from Wal Mart
Knowledgeable of: Montana history and folklore.
Found near: Living room sofa.
Drives: Four door American car. Clean.
Drinks: Water.

Who: Tourists
Age: 25-65
Hat: Baseball cap
Catch phrase: "Can I get a motel near there?" OR "Will this road take me to…"
Likes to wear: Short pants and tee shirts.
Knowledgeable of: Highway rest stops. How everything is less expensive back home.
Found near: National Parks.
Drives: Station wagon, mini van, or Winnebago.
Drinks: Gatorade, soda, bottled water.

Posted by: Montana Jones / 3:27 PM