Montana n: A state of the northwest United States bordering on Canada. Admitted as the 41st state in 1889. The fourth largest state in the union, it includes vast prairies and numerous majestic mountain ranges.
Syn: Treasure State, Big Sky Country, Last Best Place.
Jones n: slang. An addiction or very deep craving.
Saturday, September 10, 2005
My early growth was measured with pencil marks on the kitchen wall. Every year at my birthday there was a ritual of taking off shoes and standing straight, mom or dad would hold a ruler atop my head and make a mark on the wall. Later on my growth was measured differently with tests and report cards. And then it was measured with awards and promotions. Sitting today at the end of my first Montana summer season, business is winding down, spare time is increasing, I feel like I have grown. I don't have any pencil marks on the wall to show it. No outgrown clothes. No grades or awards. Only an opportunity to do it again next year.
I could measure my growth with time. I can now say I have been doing this a year much like the people around me can say "I've been here eight years" or ten or 13 or… I could fudge a little and count all the years I worked as peon instead of head honcho, then I could count this as my fifth summer. But that is not really accurate and totally fails as a measure of how much I have grown this year.
I could measure growth from my mistakes. Mistakes are the best teachers and I made a slew of them. My list of things I will do differently next year is long. Even with all the mistakes there are no regrets. I am proud that I jumped in with both feet and made a go of it.
I would like to be able to look back one day at the pencil marks on the wall and be able to say "wow, that 2005 was a real growth spurt." But there comes a time in life where growth is not so easily measured. Like a soldier returned from war people can say "He has changed." It would be true of me, I have changed, I can feel it. I would like to call it growth. But I miss having others look on me with admiration and say "look how big you are getting."
There is more Jones in the archives: February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 December 2009 January 2010 May 2014