Montana n: A state of the northwest United States bordering on Canada. Admitted as the 41st state in 1889. The fourth largest state in the union, it includes vast prairies and numerous majestic mountain ranges.
Syn: Treasure State, Big Sky Country, Last Best Place.
Jones n: slang. An addiction or very deep craving.
Monday, February 20, 2006
Dear President Bush,
Happy Presidents Day!
Did you know that I could not find a single Presidents Day card in the greeting card section of my local supermarket? If you aren't getting very many Presidents Day cards this may have something to do with it. And can you believe it, they already have a ton of Easter stuff on display. Humongous chocolate bunnies and stuff.
You know what would be cool, a huge chocolate president head for Presidents Day. Can you imagine it? A life size bust of you in delicious creamy chocolate. School kids would get a kick out of that for sure. They could start into it by biting your ears off like they do with the bunnies. Probably the only time in their entire lives that the average kid would have the ear of the president. The only way for most Americans to get some president in us.
I remember back in grade school getting taught the myth that any American boy could grow up to be president. All we starry eyed grade schoolers had to do to be president was to be born in simple circumstances like Abe Lincoln's log cabin. Live honestly and confess to chopping down cherry trees like Washington. Joining the military was a good career choice so we could charge San Juan Hill with Roosevelt. Being a good writer and philosopher like Jefferson would help too. That was all we would ever need to get our heads carved out of a big rock. Well, just like we grew up and learned about the Easter bunny, we also grew up to learn that being president is not that simple. I think you have shown us all that it takes something much different than being humble, honest, courageous, or learned to go to the White House.
I hope you are enjoying your holiday. I have heard that there are some fuddy duddies that want to limit presidential power more than you would like, but I am rooting for you. Especially if you get the power to put some chocolate presidents heads in the stores for next Presidents Day. You could totally kick butt over the Easter bunny too if you filled them with nougat.
So anyway, I know that we have not always agreed on stuff in the past, but I like to take these Presidents Days to cut you a little slack. I want to stay on your good side because I am a little worried about that department of homeland security putting me on some sort of watch list. You could even tell everyone that you came up with the chocolate president head idea all on your own if you keep DHS off my back. Thanks.
Have a great Presidents Day!
p.s. If you can't reign in the DHS could you instead please ask Cheney not to do any hunting in Montana. Thanks.
I totally agree!
There is more Jones in the archives: February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 December 2009 January 2010 May 2014