Montana Jones

Montana n: A state of the northwest United States bordering on Canada. Admitted as the 41st state in 1889. The fourth largest state in the union, it includes vast prairies and numerous majestic mountain ranges.
Syn: Treasure State, Big Sky Country, Last Best Place.

Jones n: slang. An addiction or very deep craving.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Presidents day

Dear President Bush,

Happy Presidents Day!

Did you know that I could not find a single Presidents Day card in the greeting card section of my local supermarket? If you aren't getting very many Presidents Day cards this may have something to do with it. And can you believe it, they already have a ton of Easter stuff on display. Humongous chocolate bunnies and stuff.

You know what would be cool, a huge chocolate president head for Presidents Day. Can you imagine it? A life size bust of you in delicious creamy chocolate. School kids would get a kick out of that for sure. They could start into it by biting your ears off like they do with the bunnies. Probably the only time in their entire lives that the average kid would have the ear of the president. The only way for most Americans to get some president in us.

I remember back in grade school getting taught the myth that any American boy could grow up to be president. All we starry eyed grade schoolers had to do to be president was to be born in simple circumstances like Abe Lincoln's log cabin. Live honestly and confess to chopping down cherry trees like Washington. Joining the military was a good career choice so we could charge San Juan Hill with Roosevelt. Being a good writer and philosopher like Jefferson would help too. That was all we would ever need to get our heads carved out of a big rock. Well, just like we grew up and learned about the Easter bunny, we also grew up to learn that being president is not that simple. I think you have shown us all that it takes something much different than being humble, honest, courageous, or learned to go to the White House.

I hope you are enjoying your holiday. I have heard that there are some fuddy duddies that want to limit presidential power more than you would like, but I am rooting for you. Especially if you get the power to put some chocolate presidents heads in the stores for next Presidents Day. You could totally kick butt over the Easter bunny too if you filled them with nougat.

So anyway, I know that we have not always agreed on stuff in the past, but I like to take these Presidents Days to cut you a little slack. I want to stay on your good side because I am a little worried about that department of homeland security putting me on some sort of watch list. You could even tell everyone that you came up with the chocolate president head idea all on your own if you keep DHS off my back. Thanks.

Have a great Presidents Day!
Montana Jones

p.s. If you can't reign in the DHS could you instead please ask Cheney not to do any hunting in Montana. Thanks.

You could totally kick butt over the Easter bunny too if you filled them with nougat.

I totally agree!
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