Montana Jones

Montana n: A state of the northwest United States bordering on Canada. Admitted as the 41st state in 1889. The fourth largest state in the union, it includes vast prairies and numerous majestic mountain ranges.
Syn: Treasure State, Big Sky Country, Last Best Place.

Jones n: slang. An addiction or very deep craving.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Montana Jones and the six way scrambles

D_:
Hey Jones, c'mere, we need you.
Me:
Whats up?
D_:
We have the six way scrambles going on today. We need you to sign up.
Me:
Am I the sixth man?
D_:
Sort of. You will help us finish the roster.
Me:
Tell me more.
T1:
Well, we have three rounds of six way skydives. Random teams. All experience levels. It's three bucks to get in and the winning team will split the money.
Me:
Sounds cool, I'm in.

...

T1:
Okay, can everyone hear me? We have your teams posted on the wall over here and the first round formations. We have the red team, white team and blue team. Find your team captains to start your dirt dives.
D_:
Here are the rules. We will try to make sure all teams get the same altitude and the same working time. About 12 to 13 thousand feet for about 50 seconds of working time. You may only launch a three way piece so half your team has to exit without grips. There must be complete separation between points. No switch grips, no pieces. Everyone must drop all grips between points. If you scare the judges with a low opening you will be disqualified.

...

R_:
So who is Jones? Are you Jones?
Me:
Yeah, I'm Jones.
R_:
Hi, I'm R_ your team captain. You are the novice on our group. Tell me about your skydiving experience.
Me:
Well, I have 350 jumps, just not much RW experience is all. I'm confident I can stay with you.
R_:
Alright great. We are going to build these jumps around you so you are going to have to launch clean exits and hold a fast fall rate.
Me:
No problem, I can do it.
R_:
The most important thing is to relax, stay comfortable and have fun. If you have any problems be sure to talk to me.

...

R_:
Just remember to relax and push that fall rate. Relax.
Me:
Hey, I'm relaxed. No worries. And I have never had a fall rate problem. I wont float on you.

...

R_:
Don't forget to relax!
Me:
Do I look nervous?

...

D_:
Go through the jump a few times in your mind while we are riding up in the plane. That's what we are all focusing on.
Me:
Yup. Already done it twice.

...

T_:
Alright, woohoo. Hot skydive!
R_:
Good job Jones. Gimmie five.
Me:
Thanks.
T2:
Jones, buddy, you fall fast!
Me:
I told you I fall fast.
D_:
Great skydive. Now forget everything you just did, we have a new one to learn.
T2:
I think to make it fair that next team needs to climb to 12,000, spend a bunch of time doing banked turns getting everyone airsick and then drop down to 10,000 for the jump.
O_:
Yeah, what was up with that. I was getting woozy.
T1:
It was that big cloud there that cut you off.

...

D_:
How did you guys do?
O_:
We only got three points.
D_:
We got three points too. It's a tie.
O_:
Lets see how the blue team does. Here they come now.
D_:
That's one, and two. Only two points.
T_:
When they get into to landing area be sure to give them a chant of "we suck less."

...

T_:
You want a tip?
Me:
Yeah, hit me with it.
T_:
You have to push your legs out more. Always drive forward and stay focused on the center.
Me:
Yeah, I felt like I was always pushing forward on that jump. But I guess I need more. There was one point where I forgot my legs all together.
T_:
Yeah, on the snowflake. You backslid on that one. We couldn't get the pieces together. Just remember legs out and always focus on the center of the formation.
Me:
No problem, thanks for the tip.

...

R_:
Great first skydive guys, great exit, good teamwork. This next jump will be a little more challenging, so here is what we need to do. We will do the same exit, so Jones you get right here again. With these clouds we may only get 8,000 on this next jump so we need to get this first point fast.

...

T_:
Right on buddy! Gimmie five!
D_:
Great skydive guys. We hit all the formations.
Th:
Sorry to cut you off in the door there, I lost track, I though everyone had already climbed out.
Me:
No worries, your weren't in the way. I thought you were just eager to get in position is all.
R_:
Good job on that skydive.

...

D_:
So that's four points for us and red team only got two. Puts us in the lead.
T_:
Now don't screw this next one up. I have eight bucks riding on this.

...

R_:
Lets see, from this point we are not going to be able to get back to that first formation.
Me:
Do we have to be in the same slots?
R_:
No, we could build it with these slots but that would end our jump on five points. Do you guys think we could win with five?
T_:
That depends on the blue team.
T2:
Yeah, here they come now. Let's watch.
R_:
Are they out? Oh, I see them. Is that a point?
Me:
Yeah, I thought I saw a point.
R_:
They are building slow, we have a chance.
T_:
There is another point. That's two.
R_:
And the break, they only got two. We can win with five. Lets build it like this.

...

O_:
Get the door.
P_:
We are still turning, what the hell is the pilot doing?
O_:
Left! More left!
O_:
Go around!
P_:
How hard is it to fly over top the airstrip?

...

R_:
Woohoo, another great skydive! Good job.
Me:
Thanks.
R_:
I had no idea where we were when we opened up. Why is it so hard for that pilot to get us over the top?
Me:
I was thinking about landing on the other side of the fence, on the road.
R_:
Me too, but with my luck I would have twisted my ankle on that one.
Me:
My thought exactly. Now I am stuck behind barbed wire.
R_:
Here, we can get you over.
Me:
I'll just walk. It's not worth snagging and tearing my gear.
R_:
Here is a spot we can get you through. Just gather up your parachute nice and tight. That's it. Grab on the bottom there, that's it. Now ease on through.

...

T_:
Interesting landing. Had to choose between landing by the horses or landing in the ditch.
Me:
Did anyone see where D_ landed?
T_:
I don't know anything about horses but I have never heard of them attacking people so I chose to land there. As soon as I was down they all charged right over. I think I have a date with one of them later.

...

T_:
Alright! All five points! Good job!
T2:
Great skydive.
R_:
That last point was manly. I'm thrilled you all held in for it.
T_:
Yeah, I thought we were breaking and then you waved us in.
R_:
I looked away from Jones for just a second and when I looked back he had dropped out and away. I had to go catch him.

...

T1:
I think I am going to disqualify your last two points for being too low.
R_:
No way, we were all open above two.
T1:
It looked pretty low to me.
R_:
That's because we were in the next damn county. You couldn't see anything from here without a hubble telescope. The spots have been horrible today.
Me:
I have one of those electronic gizmos that show opening altitude if you want to see it.
T1:
Those gizmos lie.
Me:
Yeah, well, it's more accurate than guessing.

...

T1:
And the winner of the scrambles with 12 points is the white team!

...

R_:
C'mere Jones, I have a question for you.
Me:
Go ahead.
R_:
We were thinking about donating the winnings to L_'s Parkinson charity. What do you think of that?
Me:
I think that's a great idea.
R_:
The whole team agrees then.

...

R_:
Good job on your skydives today.
Me:
Thanks, I had a good time and I learned a lot too. Thanks for the jumps.
Comments:
Nice!
 
Sweet...when I jumped there they were going for some record with a massive number of people in formation. Craziness...and I heard if you land on a cow you get a free jump? Free jump if you land on a horse too??
 
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