Montana Jones

Goat

Labels: goat, mountain goat, photo, wildlife

Posted by: Montana Jones / 9:17 PM 1 comments

Woman, fetch my beer

She:

Want me to get your beer?

Me:

No, please, under no circumstances should you get my beer.

She:

Under no circumstances?

Me:

It's the domestic implications that disturb me. <redneck>Woman, fetch muh beer!</redneck>

She:

Ha. Well, if you ever say it like that I'm throwing your ass off the balcony. But I was going to go get my ice tea and I thought while I was up I could bring your beer.

Me:

Naw, I'll have it with dinner.

Labels: Beer, conversation, domestic, gender roles, misogyny

Posted by: Montana Jones / 7:57 AM 0 comments

Go jump in a lake

The trail was hot and dry, like trails sometimes are. My feet were feeling abused and trampled by the time I pulled the boots off and replaced them with sandals. I decided I had enough time to go dip my feet in the lake. The water was cool and soothing and when I waded in deep enough for it to start lapping at the hem of my shorts I knew more drastic action was in order.

I waded back to the rocky shore and dropped my hat on the beach. Emptying my pockets I tucked my keys and wallet under the hat and deposited my sunglasses there as well. Then it was a sudden charge back toward the lake and a face first lunge into cold refreshing luxury. I paddled, splashed and swam. It only took a minute or so until I was soothed, even chilled, from the hot trail.

Back at the shore I collected my belongings. When I donned my hat and sunglasses there was a ripple of applause from the people gathered on the boat dock. I laughed and waved at my new fans. Clothes soaked and dripping I made my way up the sidewalk toward the parking lot.

Labels: applause, clothes, lake, swim, trail, water, wet

Posted by: Montana Jones / 9:19 PM 2 comments

Observed in Hungry Horse on the Fourth of July

• This year the observers were segregated to one side of the street and the participants were on the other.
• At least one family set up their lawn chairs a full three quarters of a mile up the highway, well out of range.
• I saw two teenagers duck, cover and crawl into the fetal position when they realized they were too close to their explosives.
• At least one group found it more entertaining to launch their fireworks horizontally.
• In the half hour I was there, I saw two explosives go off in the middle of the highway between the passing cars.
• The alert helicopter was spotted in the Martin City area.
• One dude with a beer and a mullet was overheard instructing his wife and age seven-ish son: "Are you crazy? That there is a mortar shell, you need to fire it farther back. Put it near those people."

Labels: explosives, fireworks, fourth of July, Hungry Horse, list

Posted by: Montana Jones / 9:05 PM 3 comments

Most snow

Me:

It's the most snow I have ever opened up in.

Older Generation:

Sure.

Me:

And A_ said it was the most snow he has ever seen at opening.

OG:

Can't be that bad.

Me:

Mom said it was the second most snow she has ever opened up in; with the most being when she was a kid in 1954.

OG:

Well, she was shorter then.

Labels: conversation, history, mom, opening, snow, work

Posted by: Montana Jones / 8:30 PM 0 comments