Montana Jones

I-9

She:

Would you like me to mail a copy of my social security card?

Me:

No thanks, just list the number. You are really paranoid about this paperwork.

She:

Well you mentioned big fines.

Me:

I didn't intend to make it sound that serious. It works like this; we have to keep this I-9 paperwork on file for all employees in case some big government person asks for it. If, in the rare one in a bazillion chance that a government fool were to come snooping, we would have to prove that all our employees are eligible to work in the U.S. I have never heard of anyone ever being asked for this paper, but employers are threatened with fines and such to keep us in line. There would only be trouble if we were hiring illegal aliens. Personally, I am pretty confident that you are eligible to work in the United States.

She:

Only for about 40 years.

Me:

Right. So if the government hassles me about providing a job to a law abiding white American woman with a valid social security number, I will be sure to get in touch and get a copy of that document right away.

Labels: conversation, employees, Employment, fines, government, hireing, I-9, job, paperwork, work

Posted by: Montana Jones / 9:43 PM 2 comments

Going back to the food bank

I came back to work another volunteer shift at the food bank. It has been about six months since I have last been here. Most everything is still the same, except for the things that have changed.

The sign that reads "Milk is only available to families with children" has been upgraded from a handwritten note on the back of a newsletter to a word processed and printed sign on a fresh sheet of paper cradled in a sheet protector. It used to get taken down when milk supplies were good. Looks like that hasn't happened in a while.

There is stress in the air that was not here a half year ago. Volunteers are bailing out the moment their shift ends instead of lingering to help with one more thing. Not as many people are smiling.

The place is busy. All last winter I never worked a shift as crazy busy as my first couple hours back.

A temporary work station has been built out of milk crates in the prep area. Apparently it has been busy enough that it's not worth the effort to pack it up.

There are gaps in our record books now from people taking a number to get in queue, but leaving before they make it to the front of the busy waiting room.

There are war stories now. The full time employees talk of a bleak day in October when they gave out over twelve thousand pounds of food in a single day. That's more food than the big real estate agent food drive brought in. Some of the smaller pantries in the county were cleaned out down to the bare shelves that day.

I don't know about you, but when the food bank gets busy like this I start getting scared.

Labels: busy, food, food bank, scared, volunteer, war stories, work

Posted by: Montana Jones / 7:50 PM 1 comments

Most snow

Me:

It's the most snow I have ever opened up in.

Older Generation:

Sure.

Me:

And A_ said it was the most snow he has ever seen at opening.

OG:

Can't be that bad.

Me:

Mom said it was the second most snow she has ever opened up in; with the most being when she was a kid in 1954.

OG:

Well, she was shorter then.

Labels: conversation, history, mom, opening, snow, work

Posted by: Montana Jones / 8:30 PM 0 comments

Pre Hike Checklist

• Base layer socks
• Sturdy hiking socks
• Underpants
• Shorts
• Synthetic, wicking fabric shirt
• Denim or flannel shirt
• Boots
• Bandana
• Hat

• Long pants
• Cotton tee shirt (or two)
• Fleece or warm jacket
• Waterproof jacket
• Extra socks
• Extra underpants on multiple night adventures.
• Gloves. (Type dependant on season and work to be done.)
• Spare bandana

• First aid kit
• Sports tape
• Flashlight
• Bug dope
• Toothbrush, toothpaste, and floss
• Water bottles
• Food

• Bear spray
• Camera
• Binoculars
• Spare battery
• Leatherman

• N100 dust mask. (Hantavirus protection)
• Keys
• Phone
• Radio
• Screwdrivers
• Voltmeter
• Notebook & pencil

Labels: boots, camera, checklist, clothes, gear, hike, hiking, list, lists, pack, tools, trail, work

Posted by: Montana Jones / 7:09 PM 1 comments

Misty

You know, I came out there to your place thirty years ago. I was there for a couple days as a boy scout. It made such an impression on me that I have never forgotten it. I remember the waterfalls right there that you could see and the cave in the cliff face. It was so amazing. Well here I am 30 years later and I want to come back. I want to bring my children out there; they are the same age I was. They are not really into the outdoors, but I hope to impress it on them a little. They are more urban than what you offer, they don't know the outdoors, but I need to show it to them. Besides, I need to come back. It's been 30 years and I want to see it again. It made such an impression on me.

I reminisced with him for a few minutes about the scenery and local landmarks and agreed about introducing the next generation to the great outdoors. I thanked him for his business and clicked the phone off. I put the phone on hold so I could take a moment to finish the paperwork and then left the phone off so I could sit there for a few moments longer. I thought about the waterfalls and the view to the west and I thought about what it is that makes people long for a place thirty years after having seen it for only a day. I'm not saying I cried, but maybe I did get a little misty. In front of me the counter on my inbox ticked up over 280 and the phone blinked at me to remind me of the world yelling for me. People with questions and complaints and needs that could only be met if I give them my attention now, now, now. The phone stayed off for a few more minutes so I could daydream about hiking with a family into the wilderness to see someplace different and beautiful. Perhaps whoever replaces me thirty years from now will get a call and hear a story from them. It's these little moments I live for in this job. It reminds me that the work I do is not just answering the phone and dealing with daily crap. The work I do creates memories that last thirty years and influence children that have not been born yet. I love this job. I'm not saying that I cried, but maybe I did get a little misty.

Labels: boy scouts, cry, family, job, outdoors, phone, place, reminisce, work

Posted by: Montana Jones / 7:27 AM 1 comments

An asset to the organization

Office Girl:

Jones, you have a phone call.

Me:

Thanks, do you know who it is?

OG:

Nope.

Me:

Hello, this is Jones… Uh, huh… Yes… Well that's good news… Really? That's wonderful… Thank you very much. I'm glad you had a good time… Thank you, I appreciate that… You too, thanks again.

OG:

What was that?

Me:

I am an asset to the organization.

OG:

Really?

Me:

Yup. According to Mr. R_. He stayed with us a few weeks ago and I guess I made the reservation a while back. Anyway, he called to say that he had a great time, thought the staff was top notch, appreciated that I answered his questions and steered him in the right direction. He thinks I am an asset to the organization.

OG:

I guess that settles it.

Me:

I'm gonna go put a gold star on the fridge.

Labels: asset, conversation, kudos, work

Posted by: Montana Jones / 7:54 PM 0 comments

Don't work too hard

She:

Try not to work so hard.

Me:

This is summer. You know this is when I work hard.

She:

Yeah, but you should take a day off now and again. Try not to overdo it.

Me:

I do that in the winter. Now is my time for bustin' ass.

She:

I know.

Me:

You know, it looks hard, and sometimes it is. But I really do have the greatest job ever. I love my job. This is something I can get engrossed in and be passionate about.

She:

That's true, but I think the people that care about you worry about you pushing too hard or getting burned out.

Me:

If the season were any longer than it is that would definitely be a concern. I may even change my tune in another month or so when I start getting tired, but for now I am having a great summer. I'm as excited and happy to be doing this as I have ever been.

She:

Cool. I think you are even more positive than you were last year.

Labels: conversation, job, passionate, positive, season, summer, work

Posted by: Montana Jones / 9:14 PM 0 comments

A reputation as a miracle worker

A first time parachute student was making his first jump. He fell away from the airplane and when it came time to open his parachute he couldn't get it to work right. He pulled on this and yanked on that and could not get his parachute to open. As he looked about in despair he spotted another man flying up toward him from the ground.

"Hey!" He shouted. "Do you know anything about parachutes?"

"No!" The other man replied. "Do you know anything about gas ovens?"

There was a knock on the door. "Jones." She said. "Jones, we are having some trouble with our oven. We hit the thermostat with a cake pan and now it's bent and we want you to take a look before we move it or damage it any more."

"Okay, I'll be down in a few minutes."

In the kitchen I snooped into the oven. Just as described the thermostat temperature sensor was hanging precariously. I put on an oven mitt and nudged it a little, it popped off into my hand. "Yup." I announced. "Your oven is broken."

I was given a quick tour of the burned cakes that the problem had produced and eavesdropped a staff planning session on how they could possibly bake the roasts, the breads, the cake, the cookies and the vegetables with only one oven. I offered up the suggestion that if someone just monitored the oven temperature every ten minutes they could still get use out of the damaged oven and several people volunteered to be the human thermostat. I turned my attention to the operating manual.

The parts list page proved most interesting and when I thought to heroically call in a replacement part on the spot I was thwarted because the company was closed on Sundays. So I called my business partner instead and asked about spare parts on hand. "I need the one with the coil of wire and a thingamabob on the end." I said. "Oooh. I have that here." She replied. Jackpot.

My business partner called me back three times to let me know that she was consulting resident expert and that there would be more parts and that the whole package would be at the corral in the morning so the riders could carry it in and I should spend an extra night to make sure I had enough time to make the repair. At least some of her ideas are good ones.

Somehow the team managed to bake bread with someone standing duty as a human thermostat. The next morning I commandeered the oven as early as I could. To expose the thermostat I had to strip the top, some rails on the side and a front panel. Then it was hurry up and wait. The horses arrived two hours later and sure enough they had the package as promised.

The repair took all afternoon. I spent a lot of time reading and re-reading the manual. At least twice I worried that I broke the replacement part. Somehow it all came together. I disassembled and reassembled when I found the gas leak. The calibration was sketchy at best. I had it put together again just in time for the cook to put the potatoes in. Dinner was saved.

I informed the staff that they could stand down from human thermostat duty. I was given many accolades for my newfound gas oven repair skills. The staff now thinks I have powers of repair unsurpassed in the mountains. Reputations can be hard to live up to.

Labels: assembly, broken, gas, joke, oven, problem solving, repair, reputation, thermostat, work

Posted by: Montana Jones / 7:32 PM 0 comments

Dismissing

Hey B_, do you have a minute? Well, regarding our conversation from last night, I cannot accommodate your request. M_ and I talked it over and we had made a different plan and we are not willing to change our plan for you. Yes, I understand there is a way to do what you are asking, but it also says in the employee handbook, which you signed off on, that no employee would get such treatment. I do not believe that when you were hired or at any other time I offered or implied any special treatment for you. Yes, we did do that in 2003, and again in 2005. But this year we are doing it differently. And there is also precedent from 2004 for doing this my way.

You know, B_, the kicker for me, the thing that made up my mind is that you put out your request as an ultimatum. That doesn't sit well with me. I do this knowing about your track record of good work, but I'm not going to let you tell me how to run my business.

Yes, of course you can apply next year. I am accepting of all applications. You know, I learned a lot of things from S_. The rule that he put out and that I will continue to follow is that all applicants are eligible for hire on a competitive basis. I can't answer that. I will do next years hiring next year.

I'm very sorry you had to drive out here to this result. What would you like to do next? Okay. Is there anything I can do to help you on your way? Can I buy you breakfast? B_, take care. I hope you find a successful summer. Good luck.

Later.

He took it pretty well, in his usual stoic way. I could tell he was upset. He made an argument for how we have done this before and that it is really no big deal, but I held my ground. Made me feel like a cold, heartless, ruthless bastard.

I'm worried that he is not going to see past the one little issue. I know that his was a small request and easy enough to accommodate but that isn't the point. This little thing is the straw that broke the camels back. I think he is going to be angry for a while. I just hope that he can find good in this. It would help him so much to see that change can be good. I have never understood how he can be so resistant to learning and growing.

I really hope that he eventually sees past this one issue and that this boot to the behind helps him move on to something bigger and better. Still, it makes me feel like a cold, heartless, miserly, wicked, uncaring, ruthless bastard.

Labels: bastard, change, dismissing, employees, Employment, ultimatum, work

Posted by: Montana Jones / 8:12 PM 0 comments

Truckin'

It was an odd sort of thrill to watch the truck in the rearview. A big truck. An honest to god Smokey and the Bandit style eighteen wheeler and it was following me down a little dirt road. I poked my head out the window and looked back to make sure it would clear the power lines. It did. No sweat.

I met the new driver at the gasit mart up the road and immediately took a liking to him. "I've been driving for thirty years." He said. "I don't know what I would do if I couldn't travel like this." He said. "Tight corners are no problem, I like a challenge." He said. And so I drove him around the last leg of the route and showed him the railroad crossing that was such a bitch last year and showed him the tight corners and the power lines and he said "Okay, lets do it."

I led him with my little Subaru and admired the giant machine in my rearview. The rig owned that little dirt road. It dominated every inch of space while taking the corners. The top of the antenna didn't even come close to the lowest power line. The trees looked like they were stepping back to let it pass. It was a thing of beauty seeing it saunter up to the driveway and settle down with a hiss.

While we were unloading a neighbors pickup truck pulled up the road, took a look at the tight clearance to the side and reversed back the way he had come. "Of course you can't make it around," the driver mocked. "I'm bigger than you."

Labels: corners, driver, eighteen wheeler, large, power lines, supplys, truck, work

Posted by: Montana Jones / 7:35 AM 0 comments

Back to work

She:

So you have a lot of return people on your staff. That's good.

Me:

Well, mixed blessing actually.

She:

How so?

Me:

When someone comes to work for the first time they show up with the attitude of "I'm here to do some work." Then when the summer is over they reflect and think "Hey, that was a lot of fun." So when they show up to work the second season they come in thinking "I'm here to have some fun." It can be harder to get work out of 'em.

She:

I see. But still, returnees can be easier in a lot of ways.

Me:

Oh yeah. Training them is easier, they already know the job. But I still worry.

Labels: conversation, employees, fun, returnees, training, work, workers, worry

Posted by: Montana Jones / 7:35 AM 0 comments

Disparate things that I am not creative enough to make complete blog posts from

• The most exciting page to tear off the calendar is May. It is an odd sense of excitement and dread to suddenly see a new month with my last days of spring leisure and first days of summer labor reflected on the same page.

• I can spend all weekend psyching myself up to have a positive attitude and treat my customers super nice on the phone, but as soon as I get three phone calls in a row asking what "No Vacancy" means I turn into a grumpy little cuss.

• The best ways to make the phone ring are to take a bite out of your sandwich or go pee.

• I've been doing my warm ups and stretching exercises and jogging regularly but ten minutes of sprinting in ultimate frisbee and I start pulling muscles like crazy.

• I have fallen off the wagon and started consuming caffeine again.

Labels: caffeine, calendar, customer, excercise, muscles, phone, random, sandwich, things, Ultimate Frisbee, work

Posted by: Montana Jones / 10:12 AM 0 comments

That legislature

Me:

So is your staff all lined up for the summer? Everyone ready to go?

BP:

Oh, let me tell you. I had everything ready and all lined up and then, well… You see, K_ works as a _ for the legislature and the damn legislature didn't do their jobs. They have to go to this special session now.

Me:

Yeah, I saw that.

BP:

I haven't heard from K_ yet, but his schedule may be shot. He is so angry. I am angry.

Me:

Everyone is.

BP:

All they had to do was work together and get the job done and they couldn't. And now they have to go do a special session because they were more interested in posing and posturing than in getting the work done. It makes me so mad. All of them; democrats and republicans. None of them could work together.

Me:

I have some opinions about that myself.

BP:

And it is going to cost the taxpayers $37,000 or something to do this special session and no one knows yet when it will be.

Me:

It's in the Montana constitution that the legislature is supposed to make a budget. It's the law. I think the governor should have 'em all arrested and make them finish the budget in jail.

BP:

I think the special session shouldn't happen. At least not on our dime. Make them do coffee roundtables until they have the budget done. Make them do it with Email. Make them finish the job at their own expense and don't let them get together again until it is done and ready to sign. They should do it all with Email, send as many Emails as it takes to get their work done. Just send that damn budget back and forth until they grow up enough to do their job.

Me:

That's a good idea.

BP:

But anyway, my staff is on hold until I hear from K_ about what his schedule will be. And I don't know when he is going to call. He was really looking forward to getting out here this summer and now who knows. And all because of that legislature, it affects us you know.

Labels: budget, business, conversation, governor, legislature, Montana, opinion, politics, special session, staff, work

Posted by: Montana Jones / 8:55 AM 0 comments

Working for a living

Me:

So where is it that you work?

He:

I work for A_. I'm a mining contractor.

Me:

And you said that mining is booming right now?

He:

Oh yeah. We need staff badly. We can't get enough people.

Me:

So is this a good job? Like something that someone could make a career out of, afford a house and health care and retire on and all that?

He:

Yeah, last year I think I grossed over a hundred thousand.

Me:

Yeah, you could buy a house with that. Ever since I moved here I have been trying to figure out the Montana economy. I see help wanted signs everywhere and there are even good opportunities like yours but I can't figure out where the people are or what they do.

Guy 1:

I've seen people pass up on a ten dollar an hour job because they were holding out for the big money.

Guy 2:

Kids today don't want to work. They think they can come out of school and be the boss and take charge and make top dollar. They don't understand doing the hard work and earning your place.

He:

Especially in mining. That's just a hard job and there are not many people that want to do it. Even for good money.

Labels: conversation, economy, Employment, jobs, mining, money, Montana, staff, wages, work

Posted by: Montana Jones / 8:10 AM 0 comments

Tell it like it is Sarpy

Ever since the Missoulian posted their uninformed editorials about how higher wages are the magic bullet solution to employment problems, immigration, free trade and whatever else ails you, I have been hot under the collar about this issue.

Sarpy Sam calls it like it is with an excellent write-up and analysis of some current legislation being worked on. Bottom line, it's anti business and bad for Montana.

Kudos also to the Montana Main Street Blog.
More Ways to Sue Employers
Legislative Attacks on Business

Labels: business, Employment, legislation, links, opinion, work, workers

Posted by: Montana Jones / 5:32 PM 0 comments

My current pet peeves about serving the public

If you don't know what you want, I don't know how to help you. I do enjoy talking to people on the phone, I am a fountain of information and I enjoy sharing it. But I get peeved if you want me to make your decisions for you.

I operate multiple hotels. Saying "I'm staying at your place" or "I want to stay at your place" leaves me pretty clueless about how to help you.

Be specific. Asking for a reservation "sometime in August" is bad. Asking for a reservation "on the first available Thursday in August" is better. Asking for a reservation "on August 8" is best. Every time I try to do something for you with vague instructions you call me up and make changes because I didn't get it right. This is your fault for not telling me what you wanted.

Likewise I cannot plan your vacation itinerary for you. Hire a travel agent or personal assistant. I'm just some guy on the phone and the only thing stopping me from misguiding you for my own entertainment is that I might want to make more money off you next year. And just so you know, the more difficult and time consuming you are the less your money is worth.

No, I cannot give you any good advice on getting from place to place. I am somewhat knowledgeable about how to reach me from various starting points but I am pretty useless when it comes to navigating around Montana in general. If you tell me you want to go from Yellowstone to Glacier through Miles City I am going to nod, smile and tell you that is a great route.

That said, no I don't think Calgary, Boise, or Salt Lake are the best airports to fly into. All the major cities in Montana have airports. We also have television, internet and paved roads.

I don't care about your vacation plans, how long you are staying, why you are coming, who you are visiting or what route you are taking. I'm glad you are excited to visit Montana and these are fine anecdotes to chat about casually but they are useless and annoying interruptions when it comes to getting our business done.

If you want to discuss an existing reservation, one of the first words out of you mouth ought to be the reservation number. That is the best way to tell me who you are. The second best way is to tell me your name. I get peeved when you call and ramble on about whatever problem needs solved. What happens next is I ask for your reservation number and then I make you repeat yourself because the ramble made no sense without the details. Thanks for wasting our time.

Your arrival date, while important, is pretty much useless for looking up your reservation. Don't bother telling me, writing it on your check, in your Emails or other correspondence. Your reservation number or your name is much more useful.

I understand that your friend has invited you to stay as part of her reservation. But it is her reservation and not yours. I cannot make changes to it without her permission. It's her contact info, her credit card and her responsibility. You are just some random person on the phone to me. I need to hear it from the reservation holder if you want to add eight more people.

That said, I am still happy to take your money. But if you change your mind the refund is going to the reservation holder. That is just the way it works.

If you don't like that, you may make your own reservation and become the responsible person. No I will not make your reservation for your friends room. When you make your own reservation you get your own room. That is just the way it works. If you want to share a room with your friend perhaps you should communicate with them and work out which of you will be responsible for talking to me.

When one person in the party drops out, calling me and telling me to cancel a reservation is a bad idea. I am likely to do as asked and cancel the reservation. This means everything gets chucked in the trash and everyone in the group is out in the cold. It would be better if you ask to change a reservation. This really is just a semantic thing but like all businesses mine uses some specific language to mean specific things. Cancel a reservation means 'remove and destroy the entire reservation' which is a little different from 'change the party size'. I have a big red button on my screen that has the word CANCEL in all caps. When I hear the word I start to aim for the button and once it is pressed it can't be un-pressed.

If you want to move your reservation to a different date, please don't call and make a new reservation and then as an afterthought mention you don't need the previous reservation any more. That is twice as much work for both of us. Changing an existing reservation is much easier.

No one owes you anything. I am more helpful to cheerful and fun people than I am with demanding or angry people. And in both cases "no vacancy" means there is no vacancy.

And what is up will all lower case Emails? Even your name! Is the shift key that hard to master? Is all lower case the new black and uber stylish or something? Like using dots instead of dashes in a phone number? But to lower case your name? I'm sorry, but Jones is a much more dignified name than jones. If you are too lazy to use the shift key on your own name it makes you look bad.

Labels: business, hotel, information, pet peeve, rant, reservation, service, work

Posted by: Montana Jones / 9:10 AM 2 comments