Montana Jones

Overheard in Whitefish

They:

Hey, do you guys know where there's a bar that takes Canadian money?

He:

Canada.

Labels: bar, Canada, conversation, money, Whitefish

Posted by: Montana Jones / 8:31 PM 0 comments

Vice President

She:

Wait, I don't get it. Don't you have to be a shareholder to be a director?

Lawyer:

No. You have to be a shareholder to vote for the directors, but a director does not have to be a shareholder.

She:

So we can put Jones on the board of directors?

Lawyer:

Yes. In fact you have to do either that, or elect someone else, or amend the corporate bylaws so that there are only two directors. You will have to do one of those at this meeting.

Me:

Just one question? What does a director do? What are the responsibilities?

He:

Not much. The directors just tell others what to do.

Lawyer:

The board of directors will set the direction for the company. They will approve requisitions and purchases and so forth. Legally they will have the right to speak for the company, like in securing a bank loan or some such thing, a director can sign those documents.

He:

Mostly they just appoint officers and employees to do the actual work.

Me:

So the board of directors basically sits around and thinks big thoughts, then tells everyone else what to do.

He:

You got it.

Lawyer:

The directors will also vote for officers, which your company needs three; a president, a vice president and a secretary/treasurer.

He:

Sounds like a summer club house where the kids get together and say "Hey I'm gonna be president and you be vice president and we aren't gonna let girls join."

Lawyer:

Yeah, it's a lot like that only with more money involved. So how do you want to arrange officers?

She:

Well, I'm happy with how you have handled the secretary/treasurer bit, why don't you just keep that up.

He:

Okay.

Lawyer:

So who gets president and vice president?

Me:

You have seniority, you be president.

She:

Okay.

Me:

Wait. What does the president and vice president do?

Lawyer:

Mainly the president will run the meetings and the vice president will take over in the presidents' absence. The officers also have some powers, you will have the ability to call a meeting of the directors.

Me:

So I can call you guys together if I ever want to show off how many Jell-O shots I can do?

Lawyer:

Yep.

Me:

Sweet! I'm in.

Lawyer:

Congratulations on your appointment Mr. Vice President.

Me:

Thanks. Do I get a special hat or a cookie or something?

Labels: business, conversation, corporation, director, lawyer, meeting, money, shareholder, vice president

Posted by: Montana Jones / 12:19 PM 0 comments

Programming the credit card machine

Guy:

[on phone] Hey, this is Guy. I need you to pull up account XX. Okay. Yeah, we are doing the transmit and it is asking for a password… Okay… Well can we just get rid of that? I've done over 80 of these on the SUX1000 and I have never had to use a password to transmit before… Uh, huh… So I need to tell the customer to just live with it?

Me:

Oh fucking hell.

Guy:

Yeah, do please ask someone. And another thing, we need you to update the address... On the receipts. Yeah, these receipts go to customers and he wants a different address on there... It's box 000... Oh, you can't use a post office box?

Me:

Oh fuck. They are just wrong.

Guy:

So you can put the P.O. box on a second line? Okay, just do it. Oh, you CAN put the right address on? Great thanks.

Me:

And the phone number. Get the right phone on there too.

[later]

Guy:

Okay, lets give it a test. Is that the right address and phone on the slip?

Me:

Yup.

Guy:

And see, it's a one button transmit now too.

Me:

As it should be.

Guy:

At first she wasn't going to do it but when she started hearing all the swearing in the background I think that motivated her.

Me:

Whatever it takes. It's my money not hers.

Labels: business, conversation, credit card, customer, machine, money, motivation, phone, programming, swearing

Posted by: Montana Jones / 9:14 PM 0 comments

Dentistry

I first felt it a long time ago. About this time last year. An interesting ache in a back tooth when I drank cold water. Or bit into food that was too hot or too cold. I could tell there was something there I would have to deal with sooner or later.

I procrastinated.

It's not like it hurt or anything. Just a gentle reminder. I made a habit of chewing food on the other side of my mouth. I wielded my toothbrush a little more vigorously. I knew I would have to deal with it sooner or later, I just kept putting it off. Sort of like cleaning out the car. You think of it when you are in the car, but most of the time when it is out in the garage you forget about it. I remembered my tooth when eating, but mostly forgot about it.

Dentistry ain't cheap. Back when I worked for others I took advantage of the health insurance and the dental plan. Now that I work for myself, health insurance is blessed expensive. Being the only year round full time employee I can't even get into a group rate.

Knowing that the dentistry bill must come from my own pocket makes it easy to procrastinate.

Back when I was getting regular dentistry, the hygienist would constantly criticize me for not taking better care of my teeth. I came to expect it as part of any medical treatment, the reminder to brush more, floss more, and employ some gadget or treatment. I was convinced that there was no possible way on earth that anyone could brush or floss enough to satisfy a dentist, so I didn't try very hard. Once at a doctors checkup I was cringing with anticipation of the lecture about exercise and diet. I finally asked to doctor for it just to get it out of the way. She said no. "But my dentist is always berating me." I said, "I sort of expect it." "Yeah," she agreed. "You can't please your dentist."

Not wanting the lecture makes it easy to procrastinate.

Funny thing, a bum tooth won't heal itself. Over time it grew more persistent. Interestingly, my dental habits grew better along with it. As the hurt made itself more known I spent more time and care with my toothbrush. I spent more time and care with my dental floss. I brushed and flossed more times during the day. The nagging tooth was a better reminder than a nagging dentist could ever be.

I finally broke down and called a bunch of dentists from the phone book. I picked one that was friendly and helpful on the phone. Not the cheapest, certainly not the most expensive. I made an appointment for later this month. The first appointment is an inspection, it will take a follow up appointment and more money to actually fix any problems.

I am expecting to get a lecture about dental care.
I am expecting to get a sales pitch for dental care products.
I am expecting to pay more than a month's rent to get my tooth fixed.
I am expecting an argument about how often I should make appointments vs. how often I can afford to make appointments.
I am expecting the dentists nagging to be less effective than a sore tooth when it comes to motivating me.

Labels: appointment, dentist, expectations, insurance, money, pain, procrastinate, teeth, toothache

Posted by: Montana Jones / 7:35 AM 2 comments

Minimum wage sandwich

Me:

I'm already thinking ahead to how we will have to raise rates in 2008.

He:

You know, we didn't used to have to change rates so often. We could go for four or five years before we needed a rate change.

Me:

Well, from watching the last couple years I am convinced that rates will have to go up every year. It's a hassle.

He:

Yeah, food costs are going up, and that minimum wage is going to cost. You know, I have as much empathy for the people living in the ghetto as anyone, but hell, you don't get them out of poverty by lifting up everyone. Raising the minimum wage only makes everything cost more. The cost of every sandwich.

Me:

Around here wages were already up anyway. Doesn't help us.

He:

That's how you can tell what minimum wage is you know, the cost of a sandwich at a restaurant.

Me:

Hmmm, really?

He:

Yup, that's how you tell what the local economy is like somewhere. Go to the lunch counter and order a sandwich, or a hamburger. A basic working mans lunch sort of thing and it will cost roughly what the hourly minimum wage is in that area. Not a McDonalds or fast food, but a sit down sandwich.

Me:

I never knew that. Sounds about right though.

He:

And the minimum wage change is just going make every sandwich more expensive.

Labels: business, conversation, cost, inflation, minimum wage, money, rates, restaurant, sandwich

Posted by: Montana Jones / 8:35 AM 0 comments

Working for a living

Me:

So where is it that you work?

He:

I work for A_. I'm a mining contractor.

Me:

And you said that mining is booming right now?

He:

Oh yeah. We need staff badly. We can't get enough people.

Me:

So is this a good job? Like something that someone could make a career out of, afford a house and health care and retire on and all that?

He:

Yeah, last year I think I grossed over a hundred thousand.

Me:

Yeah, you could buy a house with that. Ever since I moved here I have been trying to figure out the Montana economy. I see help wanted signs everywhere and there are even good opportunities like yours but I can't figure out where the people are or what they do.

Guy 1:

I've seen people pass up on a ten dollar an hour job because they were holding out for the big money.

Guy 2:

Kids today don't want to work. They think they can come out of school and be the boss and take charge and make top dollar. They don't understand doing the hard work and earning your place.

He:

Especially in mining. That's just a hard job and there are not many people that want to do it. Even for good money.

Labels: conversation, economy, Employment, jobs, mining, money, Montana, staff, wages, work

Posted by: Montana Jones / 8:10 AM 0 comments

From my outbox

Interestingly enough, the mortgage guy I used to double check the bank called me back after hearing my news. He started singing the praises of interest only loans and other novel ways to make the rates affordable for me. Made me clutch my wallet in fear. I might 'accidentally' loose his business card.

Yes, this has been a learning experience. One of the things learned is how professionals (bankers, brokers, et al.) that you hire to watch your interests really just watch their own.

MJ

Labels: bank, email, interest, learning, loan, money, mortgage, outbox, real estate

Posted by: Montana Jones / 8:40 AM 0 comments

Buying and selling

Me:

Well, the radon test results are now a moot point. My financing has been shot down.

Dad:

Uh-oh.

Me:

Yeah, I'm pretty bitter about that. I have some options, but I am angry right now so I'm not gonna make any decisions until I've cooled off.

Dad:

So what did R have to say about it?

Me:

Not much. She did give me the name for a different mortgage guy but she was thought the problems I have with the bank I will have everywhere.

Dad:

What about a down payment? You can probably change the numbers in your favor with a larger down payment.

Me:

The few thousand dollars I have to throw at it won't make enough of a difference. To get the bankers to pay attention I will need about 10 to 20 percent of the asking price.

Dad:

You should try to find out what the minimum down payment you need is. The bank of mom might be able to help.

Me:

Hmmm Okay, I will look into that.

Dad:

Does the bank have any other options?

Me:

Yeah, but not good ones. They have a higher interest rate that I can't afford. Funny how my income is too high for the affordable housing people, to low for the board of housing people, and the first thing the bank can suggest is a bigger cut for themselves and a higher payment I can't afford.

Dad:

Welcome to being in the middle.

Me:

I would never have gotten into this process if it wasn't for the bank giving me a good faith estimate that I could afford this thing. Two of them even. Now it feels like a bait and switch. The banks good faith estimates are loosing credibility with me. Did I mention I am pretty angry about this?

Labels: angry, bait and switch, bank, buy, conversation, dad, financing, money, real estate

Posted by: Montana Jones / 8:12 AM 1 comments

Montana Governor's Conference on Tourism & Recreation

A_:

What is that?

Me:

Oh, it's just another of those invitations to the Montana governor's conference on tourism.

A_:

Oh, that.

Me:

Yeah, I can't figure out why I should bother giving them the hundred something dollars they want just to be graced by the governor's presence.

A_:

I went to one of those one year. It's not worth it. You're right, they charge all this money just so you can go listen to them tell how wonderful the tourism board is.

Me:

I figured as much.

A_:

They should be paying us to go there. What they don't get, what they don't understand is that they wouldn't exist without us. We have been here for a hundred years. We have been bringing tourists to Montana longer than there has been a tourism board. The tourists don't come because of the governor, they come because of us.

Labels: conference, conversation, governor, money, Montana, tourism, tourist

Posted by: Montana Jones / 8:16 AM 2 comments

An Offer

R:

So here are all the sell prices for the neighboring units, we can use these to help figure out an offer.

Me:

Hmmm, yeah. This helps.

R:

It looks like most of the sales were at or close to the asking price. I'm not sure how low you can really go.

Me:

Well here, this is the low price. It looks like about half of them have sold for this.

R:

Yes, but keep in mind that was a year ago. If you offer too little the seller may not even bother to counter offer. Or worse, he could decide you are not worth dealing with and wont budge from his asking price.

Me:

Interesting game, this. All the more interesting because it's my money. I knew there was a reason I didn't like gambling.

R:

You can ask whatever you want really. The worst he can say is no.

Me:

Well let me do some math here, gimmie a minute. Lets see, that sold for… and that was… so you subtract that from… and so the difference is three percent. Hmmm. The calculator is not helping with my mind reading.

R:

Mind reading is never easy.

Me:

Well in my business I can usually mind read pretty well with a calculator. But I don't know anything about real estate. I don't know if these are the numbers he wants to hear.

R:

So what do you think?

Me:

Well, I have a couple numbers here that appeal to me. Matching this low price sounds good but you think that may be too low.

R:

Right, I don't think you will get very far with that.

Me:

This neighboring unit sold for three percent less than it's asking price, three percent off this price is X. I like that number, lets offer that.

R:

Sounds good. I'm curious if your mind reading will work.

Labels: buy, conversation, mind reading, money, offer, price, real estate, sell

Posted by: Montana Jones / 10:13 AM 1 comments

Something about old dogs and new tricks

OD:

I'm not sure about that bank merger. We'll have to see how they handle their accounts.

Me:

The teller lady today told me that account numbers and things will stay the same, only the name will change. We just use up our existing checks and when we get new ones they will have a new name on them.

OD:

They sent me a new credit card too, but I don't think I can activate it. They are going to make me go to an ATM.

Me:

Last time I got a new card I just called an 800 number to activate it.

OD:

Well the instructions say I have to go to an ATM. Here, right here it says that. They have this 800 number for questions but it doesn't say you can activate with that.

Me:

Well, go to an ATM.

OD:

I have issues with ATM's. I don't use them; they cost too much. I shouldn't have to pay to use my own money. I don't even know my pin number. Don't have one. Something that does not exist can't be stolen.

Me:

Just try the 800 number. I bet it will work.

OD:

And if they try to tell me I have to use an ATM I will just go to another bank. I'm the one loaning them money. If they don't do things the way I like, I will go find another bank and loan my money to them instead. Ain't no one can force me to use an ATM if I don't want to.

Labels: ATM, bank, change, conversation, credit card, money

Posted by: Montana Jones / 8:21 AM 0 comments