Montana n: A state of the northwest United States bordering on Canada. Admitted as the 41st state in 1889. The fourth largest state in the union, it includes vast prairies and numerous majestic mountain ranges.
Syn: Treasure State, Big Sky Country, Last Best Place.
Jones n: slang. An addiction or very deep craving.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Dear President Obama,
Happy Presidents Day!
All that hard work has finally paid off for you, congratulations, your very first Presidents Day holiday all for yourself. I can't wait to see what sort of things you intend to do with your day. Barbecues? Fireworks? Parades? Painted eggs?
This is a big opportunity for you to make all sorts of new traditions. If I may be so bold, I would like to lobby for some new Presidents Day traditions you could get the ball rolling on.
Better presidents day cards would be cool. I am getting tired of getting these cards in the store and having to draw the Lincoln stovepipe hat on the naked dude shooting the arrows. How about some Presidents Day cards that are not so much work? Now I understand that Presidents day cards may be a little self serving, since you are pretty much the only person that will be getting them. I bet you are dodging this issue just to look a little more egalitarian.
So if cards are out, I think the thing that would be the most awesomest for Presidents Day would be chocolate presidents. Everyone would love 'em. Who wouldn't want to bite a chocolate president? Except, well, I wouldn't want anyone to think this was a black thing. Er, sorry, I mean an African American thing. You gotta be egalitarian, right? Must be sort of a burden to be the nations first chocolate president. But that is sort of funny though, isn't it? I bet all those republicans would like to lick a chocolate president right now. You licked them good in November. Er, sorry, that didn't come out right either. I didn't want to suggest that you, or anyone else for that matter, would ever want to lick a republican. Well, maybe if they had a nougat center and a creamy milk chocolate skin. Er, sorry, that didn't sound right either. I don't want to make this a black thing. I have lots of friends who are black. Really.
So maybe chocolate presidents are a bad idea too. Do you think that with your egalitarian goals perhaps Presidents Day ought to get moved to a different month? (you know, not black history month.) You wouldn't want it to look like you are trying to hog too many holidays.
I will get back to the drawing board for some more good Presidents Day ideas for you. There are some holidays that do great things with food. Painting eggs or carving up pumpkins. Lots of holidays have the barbecues going on, so that is getting a little cliche. How about a nice lasagna? I will get to work on your new tradition right away.
Happy Presidents Day.
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There is more Jones in the archives: February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 December 2009 January 2010 May 2014