Montana Jones

Sex sells

Me:

I think my blog has been kinda lame for the past year or so. It needs some new spice.

She:

Not much to write about? You need a good girlfriend to spice things up, then you would have plenty of drama to blog about.

Me:

The good ones are hard to come by. And I don't like drama.

She:

You're blogging about broken ovens? I agree, your blog needs spice. Hon, I love ya... but you need more spice.

Me:

So what do you suggest?

She:

Sex sells.

Me:

Okay, so I need to have more sex. Story of my life.

She:

lmao, Story of everyone's lives... Just saying we all (secretly) love hearing about it.

Labels: blog, conversation, drama, sex, spice

Posted by: Montana Jones / 9:04 PM 0 comments

Code of Conduct

While I have not yet received any death threats for my blogging, the issue is pretty hot these days. I figure I better lay the groundwork in case some sociopath drops by and starts intimidating everyone. So here are the rules that I will enforce to make sure the Montana Jones blog stays a nice and civil place.

No Spam.
If I think you are selling something or just being a link whore I will delete your comment. If you think I am selling something you might be right. Your rights include buying it, not buying it, going to some other website, or turning off your computer and going outside for a while.

Be friendly.
You know how everyone in Montana waves at you as you drive past. Even if you don't know them. Often with that two fingers raised from the steering wheel salute. A friendly wave is mandatory on this blog. What? Is your hand broken? I think you can lift a finger from that mouse to give the good folk who stop by here a wave.

No speaking ill of anyone's mother.
You keep my mother out of it and I won't bring up your mother.

No stupidity.
If you post a stupid comment I will either delete it in order to remove a tiny bit or stupidity from the universe, or leave it up as proof of your stupidity. If I post anything stupid you are obviously mistaken.

Do as I say, not as I do.
This being a free internet and all I'm gonna do whatever I want with my own little corner of it. I will probably adhere to everything on this list, 'cause that's just the way I roll. But if I end up breaking any of these rules, tough titties. Go get your own blog. See also my manifesto.

Do not reference a television show to make a point.
It's kind of like that time on Star Trek where they had to do the thing to the thing. Yeah. This is just like that.

No double dog daring.
If you want to place a dare on this blog, you may bring it up. You may even double dare. But double dog daring is right out. That's just silly. What the hell is a dog dare anyway? I don't even own a pet. And if you cross the line into triple dog daring, well, you are just asking to be moderated.

You may not criticize Star Wars.
Yeah, I know, The pre-trilogy sucked. This is common knowledge and we do not need to hash it out again and again. That said, you may not criticize Star Wars. The Star Wars hero mythology and the good vs. evil battle are an integral part of my youth. It is a deeply cherished memory of good times and I intend to continue cherishing it well into old age. Criticizing Star Wars will not be tolerated here. (Except to reiterate that Han shot first.)

You must be naked to comment.
Hey, I try to post naked, I think you should too. For proof just whip out the digital camera and send photos to my Email address. Thanks.

No posting while drunk.
Unless you brought enough booze for everyone.

No Leet Speak.
1f j00Z 7h1nk 7h15 ru|3 sUX0Rs, 60 b4ck 70 5K00| 4nd L34R|\| 3n6|15h.

Please limit yourself to one smiley or emoticon per paragraph.
Montana Jones is about serious discussions only. Littering up the comments with cute little symbols will make this place look like a hang out for teenage girls. So an occasional wink ;-) or smile :-) or four eyed geek 8-) is acceptable when clarifying the emotion behind a statement, abuse of smiley's will be moderated. And please don't sign your comments with a rose. @--`--,-- That's just cliché.

Bribery earns extra privileges.
Gas, grass or ass. No one rides for free.

No bureaucracy.
Do you realize how badly my spell checker chokes on the word bureaucracy? When I get that bureau prefix wrong (like "beaurocracy" or "beurocracy") my spell checker just chokes. It can't suggest anything to get it right. And like any word with lots of vowels I am constantly misspelling it. I have to keep going back to the old school paper dictionary for it, like I did just now. I have put four check marks in my dictionary next to bureaucracy; it is one of my all time most misspelled words ever. I think it will be easier if we just ban the word.

Thank you for abiding by this code of conduct. I'm sure you will agree that voluntarily adhering to these guidelines will make this blog a better place.

Montana Jones

Labels: blog, code of conduct, moderation, Montana Jones, regulations, rules

Posted by: Montana Jones / 9:29 AM 2 comments

Whither goes the Montana Blogger?

There is a mysterious trend afoot. Bloggers are dissapearing.

I was a little worried about Dave Budge and Sarpy Sam, but it turns out they were each having their respective technical troubles. Welcome back guys, glad all is well.

But a couple others have up and kicked the blog without saying goodbye. The Chad over at BAH WEEP GRAHNA WEEP NINNY BON And One Crue Girl.

The optimist in me says that change is good and these people are getting on with life away from the keyboard.

The pessimist in me is saying DISASTER! BIRD FLU!! ZOMBIES!!! EVERYBODY PANIC!!!

Edit: The missing blogs mentioned above have been replaced with spam and pornography. I have removed my links.

Labels: blog, change, dissapear, links, Montana, panic

Posted by: Montana Jones / 12:31 PM 1 comments

What I learned voting in the Montana Weblog Awards

You know the drill, go see Wulfgar, carefully consider the ballot and then vote. Reading all those blogs will probably take a while so you better get started.

The cool part of the MWA for me is the linky goodness. Exposing me to some blogs I don't usually read or sometimes have not even heard of before. Better people than I have said it best: Montana is a small town with really long streets. The MWA is a good way for us Montanans to meet our neighbors.

In the politics section I learned that my perception of Republicans as radical talking points mouthpieces that put party before country is not entierly accurate. Craig at MTPolitics has long been a voice of reason. My other pleasant surprise was Electric City Weblog. Not just shouting talking points and republican right or wrong rhetoric, the posts I read there, more than any other right leaning blog, were actually reasoned and thought out. Well done.

I also learned that my perception of Democrats as whiners and complainers is, well, okay that perception got reinforced on this last trip through the blogosphere. I don't know what to do about it though. My observation of politics over the past couple decades is that this nation desperately needs division of powers. When one party, either party, has too much power things start going to hell in a handbasket. So Dems, as much as I hate your whining I will tolerate you because we need you. You will know when you have gone too far when you see me rooting for the Republicans again.

In the independent aisle I discovered this great post from Moorcat at Pragmatic revolt. One of my single most important issues in the political sphere today and I see precious few people talking about it much less doing anything about it. Thanks for the writeup Moorcat.

Now if there is any one thing that you independent and Libertarian bloggers could do to make your voice better heard I would suggest grow a personality already. It is okay to express your passions in life. Follow Budge's lead and let some of that shine through okay.

Enough of politics. Politics tends to make me angry and I don't enjoy being angry. Forgive me if I don't stop by these blogs all that often.

On the creative and social front my most glaring observation is that no one really knows what the definition of popular culture is. But that is okay, I couldn't define it either. On the one hand it could be representative of all things pop. Pop star musicians, hot teevee shows, latest greatest movies, what the hip people are doing. On the other hand it is fairly popular with me and many people I know to downplay pop and find our own pieces of culture to emphasize. This appears to be the case with Montanans in general so the popular culture blogs tend to be all over the map.

Same could be said of the Montana lifestyle. Talk about a difficult thing to nail down. There is a common idea that the rancher/cowboy/hardworking/independent thing is defining of the Montana lifestyle. Sorta like how Sarpy Sam and Karbon Kounty Moos live. And that is okay because it comes from a powerful western mythos. Many people, myself included, like to soak up some of that myth with the Montana air we breath, even though we will never come closer to cattle than the steak we have for dinner. The crazy truth of it is that the Montana lifestyle is equally embodied by the outdoorsmanship of Out there with Tom or the urban living of Patia Stevens or even myself. I would like to think that I live a Montana lifestyle.

As far as most creative, best writing, best photography, most humorous goes. These things are subjective and I was incredibly impressed will all the nominees. My suggestion is go read all the nominated blogs because they are all good.

I think you should take the time to go read all the best post nominees too. All this reading takes time, I know because I did it myself, but these are our neighbors here. Go visit.

Because I think the best thing about the MWA is the linking and finding new blogs I want to shout out my own personal addendum. Some unofficial categories and the blogs that deserve some linking.

Best Montana blogger new in the past year:
Cece-in-MT
Took her a little while to find her voice and when she did is was about politics. I will forgive her for that because she did some very thoughtful research and writing. I admit, I looked up her ballot initiative analysis when trying to figure out how to cast my vote this year. I'm looking forward to hearing what she has to say in a non election year.

Most unsung Montana blogger:
OneCrueGirl
Just go read her. She has a girly/mommy blog, a Montana lifestyle blog and can crack me up all under one roof.

Single best overall Montana blogger that I go out of my way to read every single day:
Thoughts from the Middle of Nowhere
Sarpy Sam has a lot going for him. His quotations from famous persons alone are a good reason to visit every day but there is more to it than that. Sarpy writes with a simple eloquence and conviction that make him easy to read and very persuasive. He has managed to get me impassioned about the issue of animal id's and I have not been near a cow in over ten years. Add to that his excellent photography and, well, I go out of my way to read his blog every single day. It's that good.

And of course a special shout of thanks goes to Wulfgar for doing the work making these awards possible.

Labels: awards, blog, links, Montana weblog awards, opinion

Posted by: Montana Jones / 10:00 AM 5 comments

Montana weblog awards

Hey kiddies! Wulfgar is doing the second annual Montana weblog awards. You should go see Wulfgar, make sure your favorite blog gets nominated, and then check back in a week for the voting goodness.

Labels: awards, blog, Montana weblog awards

Posted by: Montana Jones / 5:08 PM 0 comments