Montana Jones

Montana n: A state of the northwest United States bordering on Canada. Admitted as the 41st state in 1889. The fourth largest state in the union, it includes vast prairies and numerous majestic mountain ranges.
Syn: Treasure State, Big Sky Country, Last Best Place.

Jones n: slang. An addiction or very deep craving.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Code of Conduct

While I have not yet received any death threats for my blogging, the issue is pretty hot these days. I figure I better lay the groundwork in case some sociopath drops by and starts intimidating everyone. So here are the rules that I will enforce to make sure the Montana Jones blog stays a nice and civil place.

No Spam.
If I think you are selling something or just being a link whore I will delete your comment. If you think I am selling something you might be right. Your rights include buying it, not buying it, going to some other website, or turning off your computer and going outside for a while.

Be friendly.
You know how everyone in Montana waves at you as you drive past. Even if you don't know them. Often with that two fingers raised from the steering wheel salute. A friendly wave is mandatory on this blog. What? Is your hand broken? I think you can lift a finger from that mouse to give the good folk who stop by here a wave.

No speaking ill of anyone's mother.
You keep my mother out of it and I won't bring up your mother.

No stupidity.
If you post a stupid comment I will either delete it in order to remove a tiny bit or stupidity from the universe, or leave it up as proof of your stupidity. If I post anything stupid you are obviously mistaken.

Do as I say, not as I do.
This being a free internet and all I'm gonna do whatever I want with my own little corner of it. I will probably adhere to everything on this list, 'cause that's just the way I roll. But if I end up breaking any of these rules, tough titties. Go get your own blog. See also my manifesto.

Do not reference a television show to make a point.
It's kind of like that time on Star Trek where they had to do the thing to the thing. Yeah. This is just like that.

No double dog daring.
If you want to place a dare on this blog, you may bring it up. You may even double dare. But double dog daring is right out. That's just silly. What the hell is a dog dare anyway? I don't even own a pet. And if you cross the line into triple dog daring, well, you are just asking to be moderated.

You may not criticize Star Wars.
Yeah, I know, The pre-trilogy sucked. This is common knowledge and we do not need to hash it out again and again. That said, you may not criticize Star Wars. The Star Wars hero mythology and the good vs. evil battle are an integral part of my youth. It is a deeply cherished memory of good times and I intend to continue cherishing it well into old age. Criticizing Star Wars will not be tolerated here. (Except to reiterate that Han shot first.)

You must be naked to comment.
Hey, I try to post naked, I think you should too. For proof just whip out the digital camera and send photos to my Email address. Thanks.

No posting while drunk.
Unless you brought enough booze for everyone.

No Leet Speak.
1f j00Z 7h1nk 7h15 ru|3 sUX0Rs, 60 b4ck 70 5K00| 4nd L34R|\| 3n6|15h.

Please limit yourself to one smiley or emoticon per paragraph.
Montana Jones is about serious discussions only. Littering up the comments with cute little symbols will make this place look like a hang out for teenage girls. So an occasional wink ;-) or smile :-) or four eyed geek 8-) is acceptable when clarifying the emotion behind a statement, abuse of smiley's will be moderated. And please don't sign your comments with a rose. @--`--,-- That's just cliché.

Bribery earns extra privileges.
Gas, grass or ass. No one rides for free.

No bureaucracy.
Do you realize how badly my spell checker chokes on the word bureaucracy? When I get that bureau prefix wrong (like "beaurocracy" or "beurocracy") my spell checker just chokes. It can't suggest anything to get it right. And like any word with lots of vowels I am constantly misspelling it. I have to keep going back to the old school paper dictionary for it, like I did just now. I have put four check marks in my dictionary next to bureaucracy; it is one of my all time most misspelled words ever. I think it will be easier if we just ban the word.

Thank you for abiding by this code of conduct. I'm sure you will agree that voluntarily adhering to these guidelines will make this blog a better place.

Montana Jones

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WTF!?! Now there are rules? We don't need no stinkin' rules!

Just for that ;)


Ha ha! Well-stated.

No stupidity.

I think I may have to borrow this one.
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