Montana Jones

An engagement

Friend:

I don't know, I don't think I will ever get married. How about this? If we are both still single in twenty years, lets just you and I hang out together.

Me:

That's a deal. Let's see, twenty years, we will be about sixty. I'll look you up when I hit sixty and take you up on it.

Other friend:

I think I need to rush home and tell my wife that I just witnessed your engagement.

Me:

Ummmm,

Friend:

Uh, no. I just said hang out. No marriage, we are just going to hang out together.

Labels: conversation, friends, marriage, single

Posted by: Montana Jones / 1:50 PM 0 comments

Family History

Brother:

That's where I met your mom you know, on the mountain.

Kid:

I know.

Brother:

And your grandma and grandpa met there too.

Uncle:

Yup, your granddad was wranglin' horses while your grandma was working on the mountain.

Aunt:

Have you met anyone Jones?

Me:

Not that I have been able to keep.

Brother:

There are advantages to that.

Uncle:

Yeah, you are probably better off than you know.

Labels: aunt, brother, conversation, family, history, marriage, on the mountain, romance, uncle, wrangling

Posted by: Montana Jones / 7:33 AM 0 comments

A lame proposal

She:

I usually cry a lot at weddings, but this one was lame. I had my hanky ready and everything and I just couldn't conjure a tear.

Me:

Bummer. Lame weddings suck.

She:

Totally. There was just no romance. It was like they were doing a business contract or something. And she told the story of how he proposed and even that was lame.

Me:

Do I want to know?

She:

Yeah, so you know how not to be lame.

Me:

You're right. Lame sucks. Teach me how not to be lame.

She:

Okay, so to not be lame, don't propose like he did. It started with his Christmas gift, which was this fleece jacket but it was three sizes too big.

Me:

That's already not cool.

She:

No, girls don't want to be reminded that you don't know their size and if you are going to guess, don't guess huge. So anyway, they returned it but he didn't exchange it. He just brought it back.

Me:

So he took back his Christmas gift? That is lame.

She:

Totally lame. So then for her birthday, in June, in Florida, he got her another fleece jacket. Only this time it was only about two sizes too big.

Me:

He got her a fleece in June in Florida?

She:

And the wrong size again. And so when she tried it on and was all bummin' over the lame gift he was all "put your hand in the pocket." That's where he stashed the ring and that's how he proposed.

Me:

He got her a fleece in Florida in June? And he somehow thought this was a spiffy place to hide an engagement ring?

She:

He didn't even take her out, or go someplace romantic or anything. He made a lame-ass proposal on his living room couch of all the places.

Me:

Yeah, that is lame. He should have been ballzy enough to propose in public.

She:

Or at least someplace more romantic. Like the beach or something. So if you don't want to make a lame proposal, don't do any of those things.

Me:

Got it. Good to know.

Labels: advice, conversation, gift, lame, marriage, proposal, romance, story, wedding

Posted by: Montana Jones / 7:21 AM 0 comments

Deducing the rules of attraction

X_:

I don't get it. All the single people I know are all great people, but they are still single.

Me:

I think there is more to it than that.

X_:

I mean, I think R_ is awesome. I would marry her if she were a guy. I would totally stay home and be the house wife and let her go to work.

Me:

Being a great person isn't enough though. Look at you and me. We are both great people, but it didn't work out. There are other things involved. I was too independent, and insensitive and, hell, we could probably find a dozen ways we didn't connect. We are still good and interesting people, but that wasn't enough to make it work.

---

Me:

It's possible I will never get married.

X_:

Why do you say that?

Me:

I think my problem is I am attracted to the wrong women.

X_:

The wrong women?

Me:

Well, I have always been drawn to really smart and independent and ambitious women; the sort of woman that doesn't need me.

X_:

You want someone who needs you?

Me:

No, I don't. And that's the problem. The women I'm attracted to are all following their own path in life, they are working toward something different than what I am working toward. Their goals and mine don't match. I don't fit into their life and they don't fit into mine.

X_:

I get ya.

Me:

I need to learn to be attracted to submissive, unambitious women.

Labels: ambition, attraction, boys, conversation, girls, independant, marriage, personality, relationships

Posted by: Montana Jones / 7:40 AM 1 comments

In the Email

From: D_
Subject: Women Propose Marriage and Men can't refuse

To me this seems like a good way to go. Let's promote change in this society.

>
> To have refused, explained the old man remembering the day half a
> century ago, would have dishonored his family -- and in any case,
> why would he want to choose his own wife?
>
> "Love comes first into the heart of the woman," explained Nananghe.
> "Once it's in the woman, only then can it jump into the man."
>
> "The choice of a woman is much more stable," explains Okrane.
> "Rarely were there divorces before. Now, with men choosing, divorce
> has become common."
>
> http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/africa/02/01/guinea.marriage.ap/index.html
>

From: M_
Subject: Re: Women Propose Marriage and Men can't refuse

You sure do wrestle with some interesting demons...

Labels: banter, email, inbox, links, marriage, men, news, women

Posted by: Montana Jones / 5:32 PM 1 comments