Montana Jones

A lame proposal

She:

I usually cry a lot at weddings, but this one was lame. I had my hanky ready and everything and I just couldn't conjure a tear.

Me:

Bummer. Lame weddings suck.

She:

Totally. There was just no romance. It was like they were doing a business contract or something. And she told the story of how he proposed and even that was lame.

Me:

Do I want to know?

She:

Yeah, so you know how not to be lame.

Me:

You're right. Lame sucks. Teach me how not to be lame.

She:

Okay, so to not be lame, don't propose like he did. It started with his Christmas gift, which was this fleece jacket but it was three sizes too big.

Me:

That's already not cool.

She:

No, girls don't want to be reminded that you don't know their size and if you are going to guess, don't guess huge. So anyway, they returned it but he didn't exchange it. He just brought it back.

Me:

So he took back his Christmas gift? That is lame.

She:

Totally lame. So then for her birthday, in June, in Florida, he got her another fleece jacket. Only this time it was only about two sizes too big.

Me:

He got her a fleece in June in Florida?

She:

And the wrong size again. And so when she tried it on and was all bummin' over the lame gift he was all "put your hand in the pocket." That's where he stashed the ring and that's how he proposed.

Me:

He got her a fleece in Florida in June? And he somehow thought this was a spiffy place to hide an engagement ring?

She:

He didn't even take her out, or go someplace romantic or anything. He made a lame-ass proposal on his living room couch of all the places.

Me:

Yeah, that is lame. He should have been ballzy enough to propose in public.

She:

Or at least someplace more romantic. Like the beach or something. So if you don't want to make a lame proposal, don't do any of those things.

Me:

Got it. Good to know.

Labels: advice, conversation, gift, lame, marriage, proposal, romance, story, wedding

Posted by: Montana Jones / 7:21 AM