Montana Jones

Montana n: A state of the northwest United States bordering on Canada. Admitted as the 41st state in 1889. The fourth largest state in the union, it includes vast prairies and numerous majestic mountain ranges.
Syn: Treasure State, Big Sky Country, Last Best Place.

Jones n: slang. An addiction or very deep craving.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Oatmeal for breakfast

Mmmm, oatmeal.
Yummy packets of instant goop.
It's healthy, it's wholesome, it's good for you.
Brown sugar, raisins, milk.
Some days I enjoy it more than others.

They say that oatmeal reduces cholesterol and is one of the best things for your heart. As true as that may be I do not fear a heart attack. There are so many ways to die that a heart attack scares me about as much as getting hit by a bus or accidental firearm discharge or freak encounter with avian flu. I'm not eating my oatmeal for my heart. I'm eating my oatmeal because cholesterol blocks all the arteries in your body. If you can't get enough blood to your dick you go impotent. I'm eating my oatmeal to protect my hard on.

Comments:
With three males in the house who constantly want oatmeal for breakfast, that explains a lot.
 
I wonder if that could be a new marketing strategy for Quaker??
 
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