Montana n: A state of the northwest United States bordering on Canada. Admitted as the 41st state in 1889. The fourth largest state in the union, it includes vast prairies and numerous majestic mountain ranges.
Syn: Treasure State, Big Sky Country, Last Best Place.
Jones n: slang. An addiction or very deep craving.
Monday, October 09, 2006
"Hey, I get the hint. I won't try calling anymore. I won't bother you any more."
Sometimes you can stay friends, but more and more I am starting to think that is the exception and not the rule. I hang up the phone and an old love is gone, perhaps never to be heard from again.
And then there is #_. Friend, lover, fun, occasionally hard to spend time with. I like her but my heart is not in it. Perhaps giving her attention contributed to loosing the friendship of ex. Perhaps ex's new boyfriend has something to do with it. Perhaps there are other things I don't see. Relationships don't always weave together neatly and orderly to create a grand tapestry. Sometimes the tapestry unravels too.
#_ and I also had a little falling out. If I had known that was coming I would have given ex more attention that last time I saw her at the concert. It just feels weird to cross paths with an old love while out on a date. I didn't know what to do. I don't know if ex understands that or not. I think she feels like I was blowing her off. I'm going to miss her.
I don't know what to do about #_ either. It is good to have a friend but there is a part of me that says to let it go. That's the part that wants to think being left alone will make the universe easier to deal with. In my gut I know that the other part of me that wants to find the friendship is the better part.
And then a new Email arrives. Someone introduces herself. On the one hand I don't like passing up a knocking opportunity. On the other hand my current mood of apathy, confusion and lassitude is not exactly attractive. I'm not sure if I could show myself in the best light right now. The timing is poor. I need to win myself over before I can woo others.
There is more Jones in the archives: February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 December 2009 January 2010 May 2014