Montana Jones

Deducing the rules of attraction

X_:

I don't get it. All the single people I know are all great people, but they are still single.

Me:

I think there is more to it than that.

X_:

I mean, I think R_ is awesome. I would marry her if she were a guy. I would totally stay home and be the house wife and let her go to work.

Me:

Being a great person isn't enough though. Look at you and me. We are both great people, but it didn't work out. There are other things involved. I was too independent, and insensitive and, hell, we could probably find a dozen ways we didn't connect. We are still good and interesting people, but that wasn't enough to make it work.

---

Me:

It's possible I will never get married.

X_:

Why do you say that?

Me:

I think my problem is I am attracted to the wrong women.

X_:

The wrong women?

Me:

Well, I have always been drawn to really smart and independent and ambitious women; the sort of woman that doesn't need me.

X_:

You want someone who needs you?

Me:

No, I don't. And that's the problem. The women I'm attracted to are all following their own path in life, they are working toward something different than what I am working toward. Their goals and mine don't match. I don't fit into their life and they don't fit into mine.

X_:

I get ya.

Me:

I need to learn to be attracted to submissive, unambitious women.

Labels: ambition, attraction, boys, conversation, girls, independant, marriage, personality, relationships

Posted by: Montana Jones / 7:40 AM 1 comments

Voting is a waste of time

Why should we even bother casting a vote if the initiative we vote for is altered after the fact?

Labels: links, missoulian.com, news, politics, voting

Posted by: Montana Jones / 9:32 AM 0 comments

Butte America

He:

I think I will be asking about 155 for it.

Me:

No way. This is a three hundred thousand dollar house.

He:

Not in Butte.

Me:

Four bedrooms, finished basement, patio, and four car garage all close to downtown for 155? Either I'm living in the wrong city or there is no reason to live in Butte.

Labels: Butte, conversation, real estate, sell, value

Posted by: Montana Jones / 9:20 AM 0 comments

From my outbox

Interestingly enough, the mortgage guy I used to double check the bank called me back after hearing my news. He started singing the praises of interest only loans and other novel ways to make the rates affordable for me. Made me clutch my wallet in fear. I might 'accidentally' loose his business card.

Yes, this has been a learning experience. One of the things learned is how professionals (bankers, brokers, et al.) that you hire to watch your interests really just watch their own.

MJ

Labels: bank, email, interest, learning, loan, money, mortgage, outbox, real estate

Posted by: Montana Jones / 8:40 AM 0 comments

Decision

Me:

Hey dad, I've made my decision.

Dad:

Good. What did you decide?

Me:

I'm not going to do it, I am backing out of the deal. I haven't found financing I am comfortable with.

Dad:

Well, good. I'm sure you will feel better now that you have a decision.

Me:

Yeah, I think so too.

Dad:

No matter which decision you made you would have felt better for it.

Me:

Yeah, probably true. I pushed some numbers around for a while and really didn't like what I saw. Then I flipped a coin. I had to flip it six times.

Labels: coin toss, conversation, dad, decision, financing, real estate

Posted by: Montana Jones / 7:18 AM 0 comments

Contingencies

Me:

Part of me thinks that it is just the realtors blowing smoke to keep pressure on me, but it is enough of a sellers market that I can't take the chance. Perhaps I did get lucky being first in line with a bid for this place.

Dad:

And if it is the renters with the other offer, well, that's their problem.

Me:

Yeah, I don't feel sorry for them. They took the chance on renting a place that is up for sale and they had the opportunity to make an offer long before I did.

Dad:

Just make sure they don't leave it in a crappy condition.

Me:

Oh yeah, that's in the contingencies.

Labels: contingencies, conversation, dad, offer, real estate, renters

Posted by: Montana Jones / 7:38 AM 0 comments

Someone I should meet

Mom:

So who is the young lady I keep hearing about. The one you have been seen with now and again?

Me:

That must be Z_ from Helena.

Mom:

Is this someone I should meet?

Me:

I dunno. I really don't see it becoming long term serious or anything, but she is a cool friend. About once a month or so we will take turns making the drive and visiting.

Mom:

Well that's nice. I guess Helena isn't too bad of a drive.

Me:

No, not too bad. But I keep thinking it would be nice if I could make friends in the same city I live in.

Labels: conversation, friends, girls, Helena, mom

Posted by: Montana Jones / 7:46 AM 1 comments

Buying and selling

Me:

Well, the radon test results are now a moot point. My financing has been shot down.

Dad:

Uh-oh.

Me:

Yeah, I'm pretty bitter about that. I have some options, but I am angry right now so I'm not gonna make any decisions until I've cooled off.

Dad:

So what did R have to say about it?

Me:

Not much. She did give me the name for a different mortgage guy but she was thought the problems I have with the bank I will have everywhere.

Dad:

What about a down payment? You can probably change the numbers in your favor with a larger down payment.

Me:

The few thousand dollars I have to throw at it won't make enough of a difference. To get the bankers to pay attention I will need about 10 to 20 percent of the asking price.

Dad:

You should try to find out what the minimum down payment you need is. The bank of mom might be able to help.

Me:

Hmmm Okay, I will look into that.

Dad:

Does the bank have any other options?

Me:

Yeah, but not good ones. They have a higher interest rate that I can't afford. Funny how my income is too high for the affordable housing people, to low for the board of housing people, and the first thing the bank can suggest is a bigger cut for themselves and a higher payment I can't afford.

Dad:

Welcome to being in the middle.

Me:

I would never have gotten into this process if it wasn't for the bank giving me a good faith estimate that I could afford this thing. Two of them even. Now it feels like a bait and switch. The banks good faith estimates are loosing credibility with me. Did I mention I am pretty angry about this?

Labels: angry, bait and switch, bank, buy, conversation, dad, financing, money, real estate

Posted by: Montana Jones / 8:12 AM 1 comments

Frank Miele is doing it again

Let me summarize Frank Miele's latest editorial by saying that he thinks our society lives by an "anything goes" code of ethics and too many people substitute "if it feels good, do it." for actual morality. If I read his essay correctly, I think he is complaining the problems with the world come from loose moral standards and some restrictions on immoral freedoms and liberties would be good for us.

My retort:

Yes, Mr Miele, I do remember a time when there were actually things you couldn't say or do on television. That was yesterday. Literally. And today too. I am pretty sure it will apply to tomorrow as well. The FCC, our government, does in fact regulate what can be shown on television. Remember the superbowl wardrobe malfunction? The television network was fined for that and it hasn't happened again. No one gets away with immoral nipples on teevee.

Oh, wait, you were referring to cable television as opposed to the more regulated free over the air kind. Yeah, your right, I've seen nipples and heard naughty words on cable. That must be what you are referring to. Did you know that you pay for that? Yeah, truly. Most people get a bill in the mail about once a month, if you stop paying you stop getting nipples and naughty words. You are a consumer and you do not have to receive goods or services that do not live up to your standards. You take responsibility for those nipples when you choose to pay for them.

But what about the good, naughty bit free, channels coming bundled with bad channels? If you don't want to take it up with your television provider as a consumer there is another law on the books that helps you. Have you heard of the V-chip? It is in all modern televisions and it is there by law. Those courts you like to hate have enforced this. You have a tool at your disposal to stop nipples from ever appearing on your television, should you choose to use it.

That's the bottom line right there isn't it. You have to choose and be proactive and (gasp) be responsible for your own morality. Yes, that's right. I am telling you the honest to God truth here. Personal responsibility makes it possible to maintain high morals, decency and a nipple free lifestyle. Personal responsibility means you get to choose what you and your family watch on teevee. You are allowed to put your foot down and declare "In my house and on my teevee not just anything goes." No one can legally force you to look at nipples, and if someone does foist an unwanted nipple on you, you have legal recourse available to you. If there are immoral acts appearing on your television, blame yourself for not doing anything about it.

You also have an issue with groups enforcing morality on their members. You say:

…in America we have more and more made it impossible for groups to regulate the behavior of their members. Instead of having the freedom to exercise their moral judgment, employers, churches, and groups like the Boy Scouts all have to tiptoe through a legal minefield in order to assure that they do not violate someone's God-given right to be offensive.

I disagree. Back when I was a boy scout (to cite one group from your example) I recall there being a code of conduct. It had something to do with loyal, brave, courteous, clean, thrifty and so forth. There were sanctions for the boys that did things like show up out of uniform or use profanity at the meetings. The morality of the group was very much enforced. Admittedly there has been some legal kerfluffle over the Boy Scouts being allowed to admit atheists or homosexuals. The final verdict on that is that a private group like the scouts can (and do) disallow anyone that does not meet their standards. (cite: Wikipedia) Those courts and laws that you hate so much have made it possible for the Boy Scouts to deny membership to atheists and others that do not live up to their morals.

Examples of your other groups, employers, and churches, as well as schools, clubs, and private facilities enforcing their own morality also exist and their right to do so is legally enforced. I don't feel the need to iterate each in detail to make my point. Your statement about groups is wrong. You are wrong. Groups do regulate their own morality and as a bonus, you are not compelled to join any group whose standards you disagree with.

You make quite a rant in your example of library's and internet filtering in your essay. You are correct on many counts. No one should be forced to see pornography. Measures should be taken to shield children from pornography. But I think you are being dishonest in describing the problem at hand.

You say:

libraries across the United States have made a decision to allow unregulated Internet use on their public computers, no matter how vile or offensive the content is, and no matter how young the user is

The only libraries that you cite a specific example of, the Flathead County Library System, you report that they use filters and act responsibly around porn and children. I would like you to please find an example of a specific library that allows minors access to pornography. Through the internet or otherwise. In fact, if you know of this library don't tell me about it, tell a law enforcement agency. Showing pornography to minors, or allowing pornography to be shown to minors, is illegal. If there is a library somewhere in this country that allows children to view porn at their own whim someone should be put in jail. It is against the law for both perverts and librarians. If you actually know of a library that does this, and you imply that you do, you would be just as much a villain if you fail to expose this illegal and immoral practice.

Another point. You say:

The trouble is that our courts are inclined to agree that people have the right to watch or read anything they want, no matter how offensive it is to traditional values, decency or community standards.

Trouble? It is somehow a problem that the courts are encouraging personal responsibility for choosing what to read or watch? Don't you understand why free expression is so very important? Do you understand why censorship if fought against so vigorously? Take a look at this list of banned books. Take note please of the first book listed under the letter B. That book is banned because someone is trying to enforce their communities values, decency and community standards. That book is banned because someone was offended by it and fought to have it banned from polite society. I hope you can understand that what you are endorsing, censorship, can cut against you. Laws that allow you to censor others can also be used to censor you, and the Bible, and your moral code. Censorship is one of the most evil ideas ever foisted on mankind and I am ashamed for you that you try to advocate it.

I understand that some forms of expression can be offensive. Nipples are offensive to some, the Bible is offensive to others. Even I have a hard time with Piss Christ. But Piss Christ must be allowed to exist, if for no other reason than to remind people like you that you share a world, a country, a community with people of different standards than yours. In a free country you can't make them go away. The morally correct thing to do is to find a way to share your community with them.

There is a tool you can use to maintain your morality in the face of people that think differently than you, that have different ideas of what is good or decent. It is called personal responsibility. You can maintain your morality even when some people pay to watch nipples on television and others read subversive books in the library. You can maintain your standards of morality in your home and your family, even in the groups and communities you participate in. Personal responsibility.

"If you don't like it, don't look at it" is a call to responsibility. It is reasonable. Much more reasonable than demanding the state make everyone else follow your moral code. This nation has invested in many laws and regulations like the v-chip that allow you to take personal responsibility for what you view on television, what your children see in libraries, what groups you join.

The problem with personal responsibility is that it is hard. It takes constant vigilance and strong morals. All those people out there with a different set of morals aren't helping any. They keep doing things like banning good books or trying to join the Boy Scouts while agnostic. Sometimes it feels easier to give up your responsibilities, stomp your feet and scream from your soapbox "stop showing all those damn nipples!"

Just remember Mr Miele, we are all going through the same struggle. Regulating your set of morals onto everyone else is not the answer. Freedom and liberty demand more of us. The freedom that allows you to read the Bible is the same freedom that lets others look at nipples. If you take away one, you endanger the other and freedom dies for everyone. This freedom thing is messy business, it makes it okay for others to live differently than we do; and that can make us feel uncomfortable. Just keep reminding yourself, personal responsibility will make it work.

I'll make you a deal. I will take personal responsibility to make sure my porn stays away from you, all children and anyone else that does not care to view it if you take personal responsibility for living within your morals without shoving them down my throat.

Labels: banned books, boy scouts, censorship, Daily Interlake, editorial, essay, Frank Miele, freedom, law, library, morality, morals, nipples, personal responsibility, porn, rant, retort, teevee

Posted by: Montana Jones / 8:47 PM 2 comments

Locked Out

The center beam was artistically slanted inwards between the two vertical supports and it was just wide enough for my boot. It was fairly easy to grasp the outer posts, brace myself and walk the center beam up to my balcony. The visual flashed in my mind that if my grip slipped right now I would fall flat on my back and probably knock my head pretty good. I shooed the thought away and focused on the foot, foot, hand, hand alternations I needed to climb. At the balcony railing I shifted my grip to the bars and tried to pull myself up hand over hand. Action heroes in the movies make this part look easy, I was surprised how difficult it was to pull my own weight up even a few inches. I struggled myself up far enough to awkwardly contort my foot up to a purchase on the balcony ledge. An ungraceful move but it did get me to where I could raise to a stand on the outside of the balcony railing.

Back when I was younger I had gotten pretty good at crossing fences with a combat roll. Throw yourself headfirst over the top, plant a hand while lifting your legs up and over behind you and then a pivot, tumble brings you right side up and usually on your feet. When done well it both looks cool and feels good. This time the gymnastics were more of a face first surge over the rail onto the balcony floor. All the grace a sack of cement would have being manhandled into submission. I wanted to blame the heavy boots and the thick winter clothes on my lack of style, but the truth is that I am not a young man anymore.

I don't recall from my youth putting so much effort into leaving the house. Choosing the right pair of shoes for the snow and wet, the right jacket, the checklist of phone, wallet, checkbook, to-do list, hat, gloves. I can recall being a much more carefree youth. But then again, carefree attitudes will let you forget your keys until you are halfway between locked front door and locked car door.

After coming in from the balcony and collecting my keys, right where I left them on the desk, I set off again on my outing. I was feeling pretty good about myself for having overcome my obstacle, but as I settled into the drivers seat I realized my heart was racing and my hands were shaking. My body was not used to exerting and climbing. The sedentary winter hasn't helped either. A few deep breaths calmed my heart and my muscles steadied themselves. My shoulders would be sore tomorrow, my shin ached from a collision. But mostly I was sad. I was sad for the young man that used to climb trees and cross fences without a second thought. There was a day when I would not have cared about the right shoes or jacket or even a to-do list. I could have climbed a balcony with ease; I would have done it for the fun of it. I was sad that an older, fastidious, less fit person was now living in my place.

Labels: age, balcony, climb, fitness, gymnastics, locked out, youth

Posted by: Montana Jones / 7:45 AM 1 comments

Montana Governor's Conference on Tourism & Recreation

A_:

What is that?

Me:

Oh, it's just another of those invitations to the Montana governor's conference on tourism.

A_:

Oh, that.

Me:

Yeah, I can't figure out why I should bother giving them the hundred something dollars they want just to be graced by the governor's presence.

A_:

I went to one of those one year. It's not worth it. You're right, they charge all this money just so you can go listen to them tell how wonderful the tourism board is.

Me:

I figured as much.

A_:

They should be paying us to go there. What they don't get, what they don't understand is that they wouldn't exist without us. We have been here for a hundred years. We have been bringing tourists to Montana longer than there has been a tourism board. The tourists don't come because of the governor, they come because of us.

Labels: conference, conversation, governor, money, Montana, tourism, tourist

Posted by: Montana Jones / 8:16 AM 2 comments

Paperwork

R:

...and this sheet is the mold disclosure form.

Me:

Mold disclosure?

R:

Yes, it is a state requirement for selling property. It just says that every home has mold in it and that you are aware of that. Mold comes from showers or houseplants or humidity or wherever. It's not necessarily bad but it is in every home and we have to disclose it.

Me:

Is there an oxygen disclosure form? I need to make sure that there is air to breathe on this property.

Labels: bureaucracy, conversation, disclosure, form, mold, paperwork, sarcasm

Posted by: Montana Jones / 7:10 AM 0 comments

An Offer

R:

So here are all the sell prices for the neighboring units, we can use these to help figure out an offer.

Me:

Hmmm, yeah. This helps.

R:

It looks like most of the sales were at or close to the asking price. I'm not sure how low you can really go.

Me:

Well here, this is the low price. It looks like about half of them have sold for this.

R:

Yes, but keep in mind that was a year ago. If you offer too little the seller may not even bother to counter offer. Or worse, he could decide you are not worth dealing with and wont budge from his asking price.

Me:

Interesting game, this. All the more interesting because it's my money. I knew there was a reason I didn't like gambling.

R:

You can ask whatever you want really. The worst he can say is no.

Me:

Well let me do some math here, gimmie a minute. Lets see, that sold for… and that was… so you subtract that from… and so the difference is three percent. Hmmm. The calculator is not helping with my mind reading.

R:

Mind reading is never easy.

Me:

Well in my business I can usually mind read pretty well with a calculator. But I don't know anything about real estate. I don't know if these are the numbers he wants to hear.

R:

So what do you think?

Me:

Well, I have a couple numbers here that appeal to me. Matching this low price sounds good but you think that may be too low.

R:

Right, I don't think you will get very far with that.

Me:

This neighboring unit sold for three percent less than it's asking price, three percent off this price is X. I like that number, lets offer that.

R:

Sounds good. I'm curious if your mind reading will work.

Labels: buy, conversation, mind reading, money, offer, price, real estate, sell

Posted by: Montana Jones / 10:13 AM 1 comments